Sidelines || MxM

Points For That

This chapter includes discussions about suicide. If you or someone you know is experiencing similar struggles, please remember you're not alone. Reaching out to someone for support is a courageous and important step.

Jackson

Tapping my cell phone against the cold marble surface of the kitchen island, I found myself lost in thought, perched awkwardly on the edge of a stool in my dorm. Hours had dragged by since Ethan answered my call, and yet, there was no text, no response after he had hung up. A sinking feeling gnawed at my gut, the kind that screamed he'd seen the video.

I hadn't planned for Ethan to find out this way. Hell, I hadn't even known about the video's existence, much less anticipated its upload for the world to see. All those careful plans I had laid out in my head, the perfect scenarios where I could explain everything to Ethan... they all crumbled to dust.

I wanted to explain to him, to reassure him that I was not like that guy he called Derek, that Hannah and I were definitely nothing. Tell him that she would face consequences for her hate speech. I had hoped, naively, to settle things with my father before even talking to Ethan, that he did not need to worry, but then that chance was snatched away from me, leaving me to grapple with the fallout.

Shit.

Time was ticking away, and soon we'd be off to the airport, flying out to Florida. Ethan would be in his apartment by now. He didn't like Halloween, and he said that Leo would be out and he would be alone. My mind raced, desperate for a solution, when Brad sauntered into the kitchen, oblivious to the storm inside me. He was just grabbing a snack, but seeing him there sparked an idea. If I could get Max, the second year who was my quarterback replacement, to step in for me, just in case I could not make it in time, maybe I could sort things out with Ethan. It was a long shot, but I had to take it.

"Brad, I need Max ready to take my place for the game." The words tumbled out of me before I could second-guess them.

Brad nearly choked on his drink, coughing and sputtering in disbelief. "What?!" he gasped, wiping his mouth with the back of his hand, his eyes wide with shock. "Are you crazy? Skip out on Florida, on 'The Lizards'? No, fuck no. Coach Williams will kill you, Jackson. Mike is already out; what the fuck are you thinking? And with that face, I know you are asking me to cover you with the coach."

He was right. The idea was crazy. Coach Williams would be furious, and the team... they were counting on me. Max was really good, even matching my style, so there would not be too many problems. But this was about Ethan, and it felt bigger than any game. I had to make things right with him, and I couldn't do that from Florida.

"I know, Brad. It sounds nuts. But I need to go and speak with Ethan about the video. I'm sure he saw it by now, and he is not responding to any of my texts. I will try to do everything to arrive on time. The game is in the evening."

Brad showed me the video minutes after finishing texting Ethan. He was kind enough to let me know what was happening. Apparently, the video was already up early in the university forum. But with everyone watching it, the notifications of the new threads bogged down. I never received an email. I was in the dark.

Brad stared at me for a long moment. "Jackson, you're really gonna do this? Who will act as the captain? And don't even think about me. It's enough with covering your ass with the Coach."

"Praxton. He is the senior and knows the team. He knows the plays better than anyone and always does the job no matter what is happening."

Brad started to pace around the kitchen, and he grabbed paper towels to mop up the mess he'd inadvertently made. Brad was the one who somehow kept our place from turning into a complete dump, always picking up after everyone else.