Hayes (A Carolina Cyclones Story)

48.

Hayes

The Cyclones are headed to the third round of the playoffs. I should be ecstatic. I should be thanking my fucking lucky stars that my inability to be a contributing member of this team, let alone a leader, hasn't cost us this shot.

There is only so many times you can tell yourself to get your shit together without success before you just stop trying. I've never really contemplated rock bottom, or what hitting it might look like. But, fuck, I think I'm here.

My phone dings from the armrest of the adirondack chair I'm sitting in, facing the marsh that borders my backyard. It's a notification from my security app and when I open it I'm greeted by the sight of Wesley's obnoxious Jeep. I roll my eyes and huff out a breath, knowing he's probably here to attempt to cheer me up. I'm not the least bit interested in company but he's not likely to care. Truth be told, he's a bit like a gnat when he knows someone's upset. You can't get rid of him. I shoot him a text to tell him out back and wait.

I don't turn to look at him, the sound of his feet slapping against the ground announces his approach and I yell out to him. "What're you doing here, Wes?"

"Welcoming as always." A voice that doesn't belong to Wes quips and I feel the hair on my arms rise. Jax steps around the chair I'm sitting in and makes himself at home in the one catty corner. Wesley does the same on the opposite side of me, a guilty look on his face.

"What are you doing here, Faulkner?"

He lifts his hands in surrender, grabbing a beer from the six pack Wesley placed on the table, twisting the top off and taking a long pull. "I was kidnapped." He deadpans, turning his head dramatically to look at Wes. I do the same.

"Okay, okay. I get it, you're both annoyed." Wes starts, Jax scoffs in reply. "Look, you two are my best friends. The vibes in the locker room have gone to absolute shit over the past few months and you two's little bitch fit isn't helping anyone."

I lean forward slowly and grab my own beer from the pack on the table. The silence ensues as I open it and down the whole thing in one gulp.

"Do either of you even give a fuck about the team?"

"Yes!" Both myself and Jax reply emphatically at the same time. "Then for the love of God can you both find your balls and deal with your shit so we don't blow this run, again."

"I'm not in the wrong here, Wes." I say. Fully confident and believing of my statement.

"Well moping around and playing like shit certainly aren't doing the team any fucking favors."

Now I'm agitated and beyond a little annoyed. "I don't know where you get the nerve showing up to my house and–" "And telling you that it's beyond time for you to get your shit together and be a Captain?"

His words feel like a slap to the face. Like all my insecurities thrown directly in my face by someone I consider a friend. But fuck, I don't know why I'm even surprised given the past few months.

"I'm not trying to be an asshole so take a breath." He says and I do my best to heed his instruction and eventually my clenched fist releases. "I get that you had a falling out with Maggie and that fucking sucks."

Jax scoffs again and I hope my gaze is murderous as I turn towards him. "You fucked that girl over for no reason."

And now my patience is gone.

"Because of you, you fucking asshole."

I want him to react. Want him to stand up and fight me. Again. No amount of words endorsing me for Captain would completely salve the burn of things falling apart with Maggie.

"Hayes, as much as you want to blame me for things going south. I didn't do anything."

I can't help the irritated groan that breaks free of my chest. "How can you say that with a straight face?" I ask, standing to my feet. "Yes, I might have jumped down her throat when I saw her with you but you had spent weeks poking and poking at me about her. You saw an opportunity to get under my skin and you took it. Over and over again you picked at my insecurities until I questioned everything about my relationship...even her fucking loyalty. So okay, Jax, if it makes you feel better, maybe, just maybe, you didn't fuck her. You certainly fucked me over. I had something really good with Maggie and I get now that me being an insecure sack of shit definitely played a part in everything, but don't act like you were innocent."

My chest heaves as I finish my spiel. It's the first time I've said that out loud. Admitted my own role, my insecurities role, in the demise of my relationship. I swallow down the lump that's grown in my throat.

The earlier bravado Jax had has dissipated. It's like something I said has finally gotten through to him and he leans forward, shoving his hands through his hair before he looks up to me. "Hayes...I'm sorry."

He huffs out a breath. "I've been a fucking prick the past few months, I get that. Last year, everything that happened with..." He trails off and I only nod, knowing he's had his own set of issues with women in recent memory. "I haven't handled it right and I get that. I wasn't...I wasn't trying to mess shit up for you guys, and that night I really was just trying to get her back safely because I knew she was drunk. But, I get how it looked and that the way I've been acting didn't exactly paint me in the greatest light. Maybe I was jealous or hell, I don't know." He shakes his head and I feel my anger start to dissolve.

"Look," Wes rejoins the conversation. "What's happened, happened. Being assholes to each other doesn't fix anything. We've got a job to do and we can't be successful if we're all infighting. You two clowns are my best friends and I'm sick of this shit. If ever there was a time to let bygones be bygones it's now. We have a Cup to win and I don't want some petty middle school shit to be the reason we have to wait another year."

"You know, Wes, sometime's you're an annoying motherfucker. But occasionally you're right." I glance over at Jax. "I won't pretend that everything that's happened is forgotten. That shit wasn't okay. But Wes is right, we've got a job to do and a team counting on us. It's time to sack up and get our heads on the ice. Florida is going to be ready for us and if we keep at it like this we've got no shot." I let out a sigh and hold out my hand. "Truce?"