Hayes (A Carolina Cyclones Story)

49

Maggie

I stare down the staff entrance of Rucker Arena. So much has changed since the first time I set foot in this building. That first day I was filled with nerves and excitement and while the nerves still exist, today they're for a different reason. To put it frankly, I've been avoiding this place like the plague. With the playoffs putting my work in the arena on hold I've resorted to filling my time with extra shifts at Malcolm's to stay busy and because Rachel could use the help. I refuse to admit that what I'm really hoping to avoid is a run in with Hayes.

With, at most, a few weeks left in the season however, management has requested I come in to meet with them about the projected timeline for this summer as well as to approve my final designs. The meeting is relatively uneventful with only a few tweaks needing to be made. I'm relieved to be escaping without incident and heading for the parking lot when I see Beau Reynolds walking through the atrium, headed for the team bus that now waits outside to presumably take the team to the airport as they head off for their away games. They're playing Florida and currently down two games to none. If Beau is headed out that means the rest of the team probably is too. I have three options, though really only two I consider, waiting to face Hayes in this very open and public lobby is immediately nixed. Instead, I can make a mad dash for the parking lot and my car, or I can retreat to my office and wait for the coast to clear.

I choose the latter, rushing backwards to the hallway that leads to my small office and deciding there is no time like the present to make the adjustments management had wanted. At least then I can pretend that's the real reason I'm in here, not to hide. I hate that something I was once so excited about, this opportunity, is now tarnished by the need to check around every corner. I hate even more that things with Hayes didn't work out.

Reality isn't lost on me, things don't always work out the way we want them to, but that doesn't kill the desire to live the fairy tale I had allowed myself to dream up in my head. A cough in the hallway draws my attention and I look up to find myself face to face with the man who's sketches I'd just been mindlessly staring at.

He looks uncomfortable. His forehead wrinkled in the middle and his weight shifting from foot to foot as he lingers just outside the doorway of my office. "Um, hey..." He starts, trailing off, clearly unsure.

"Hi." I say, hating how strained my voice sounds and the way I can barely hear it over the pounding of my heart in my chest.

He clears his throat and draws his arm up to scratch at the back of his neck. It pulls his white dress shirt tight against his abdomen, showing off his physique and I hate myself a little for the way my thighs clench as I take in the glory that is Hayes Hansen in a suit. "Wes said he saw you head down this way and I... I just, well fuck Maggie I really wanted to see you."

The admission is enough to momentarily stun me stupid considering the last time I saw him in person he was telling me we were done.

"Look, I know I blew things out of proportion. I know I shouldn't have taken out my anger about how I've been playing lately on you and believe me I know I'm a fucking idiot for accusing you of messing around with Jax."

"No shit." I say, unable to bite back the snark. He hurt me, even if he's able to admit that he did, he hasn't apologized and I've still got a good bit of anger over the way he was so willing to drop me without warning.

"Mags, you've got to understand the pressure I'm under right now. My heads been really fucked up and it's gotten hard to sort out the truth from the crazy made up shit in my brain. I know that's on me too but I'm just trying to get you to understand why things went down like they did. I don't want that to be the way things end for us. I miss you."

I watch the way his throat works, the swallow he forces down as he looks at me with pleading eyes, begging me to understand.

"That's the thing though, Hayes. I do understand. I get that you've been stressed. I get that you're unhappy with the way things have been going. But I won't accept the way you treated me. I won't tolerate the way you hurled baseless accusations at me and took out those frustrations on me. I didn't deserve that. Even now, you've told me all the things you were going through but you haven't apologized, nor do I really think you're in a place to fix things. I think you have to learn how to trust yourself, believe in yourself, realize that the world isn't out to get you if you ever want there to be another chance for us."

It's quiet for a beat, his head lowering as his eyes flutter closed and I see the real pain in his eyes. I'm sad that he's hurting, but I am too and I won't discount that.

"I'm sorry Maggie."

"Me too, Hayes."

He turns back towards the hall and heads back the way he came from. "Hey, Hayes!" I call out and he whips his head back to face me.

"Yeah?"

"Kick ass in Florida. You're a good Captain Hayes. The only person who's holding you back from greatness is yourself. Go be great."

He tilts his head down slightly in a small nod, his jaw tight as he taps the doorframe twice and then disappears back down the hall. When he's gone I let out a long sigh as I sink down in my chair, feeling my whole body deflate.