Poems and Random Descriptions

Broken Friendships

My friend and I are having a bit of a rough patch and its making me feel really shitty (sorry for the language xx) so I wrote a poem about how it's making me feel. It's not great, but at least its true haha xx
TW- swearing

Try so hard,
All for nothing,
Nobody cares,
What I put in,
So much effort,
That nobody sees,
I tell you I'm trying,
But you don't believe,
You only see,
What you want to see,
So I act like I'm fine,
And without you I'm coping,
But I know the truth,
I know it's tearing me apart,
Because I care so fucking deep,
And you're breaking my heart,
Don't know what I did,
Or why you're acting this way,
But the loneliness and guilt,
Builds up everyday,
Some say it's my fault,
Some say it's not,
Don't know what to believe,
Tied up in knots,
Trying so hard,
To make everything right,
Pretending I don't,
Cry about you at night,
Venting to friends,
Asking for help,
I want to fix this,
But I blame myself,
All of those plans,
For our future together,
Thrown out the window,
Hope you find someone better,
Hope you find someone who,
Is caring and fun,
And hopefully I,
Can eventually move on,
Your not my lover,
But you're more than a friend,
The aunt to my children,
The Ying to my Yang,
I don't think you know,
How bad this hurts,
When I think of my future,
I think of you first,
I think of your wedding,
I think of your house,
And how I'll look after your kids,
When your going out,
I see those Tiktoks,
About having a 'best friend',
And you're the one,
Who comes into my head,
I hope that I haven't,
Fucked this all up,
But at the way things are going,
I think that's what I've done,
I'll always be sorry,
I just hope you know,
I wish I could hug you,
And never let go,
But you won't let me fix this,
Won't give me a chance,
Just please know our future,
Lies in your hands,
I've done all I can
And then some more,
Trying so hard,
I just want to restore,
That beautiful friendship,
I miss my best friend,
And I hope this isn't,
Where things will end.