Secret Mikaelson

Chapter Ten

[Trigger Warning. This chapter contains content that may be harmful to some readers. This chapter contains mentions and depictions of the following: self harm, abuse, drug abuse, torture, sexual assault, suicidal ideation and more.]

"How long have you known?" She finally spoke as she sat down on the sidewalk.

    I moved and sat down beside her.

    "That I'm Klaus's kid?" I looked at her as I asked.

    She nodded. I sighed.

    "The Salvatore House. Damons thoughts, and he wasn't exactly quiet either." I moved around  a rock with my foot. "Then I went and accidentally summoned them in a dream world...."

    "You created a dream world?"

    I rubbed the back of my neck. "It wasn't really mine. I think it was Elijah's dream. I just entered it and brought Klaus and Bex into it... Honestly probably coulda been killed by Klaus's temper if Elijah wasnt there. Not that I can be killed, I sure as hell have tried before..." I picked up the pebbled as I looked over it, there was some gemstone inside glinting off the streetlight. "Unless its like compulsion and I can only be killed by one of them... But they seem keen on keeping me alive so that plans a bust..."

    "Nikolai James." Nyx scolded gently as she  moved to kneel in front of me.

    I moved my gaze to hers. "What do you mean youve tried before?"

    Her voice was soft, softer than I had ever heard her before. I averted my gaze as I looked back down at the rock in my hand.

    "Nik... Have you attempted," She paused for a moment. "Suicide... Have you tried to take your own life?"

    I let out a breath, nodding slightly.

    "Have you been harming yourself?" She asked gently as she watched me.

    "Why does it matter... I cant be killed..." I broke the rock open in my hands.

    It was a small quartz geode. My eyes changed to a violet color as I magicked the stone into a necklace.

    "Nikolai.... Have you recently attempted or harmed yourself in any way?"

    I magicked the necklace away to Carolines room as my eyes returned to normal. "Depends on you definition of harm..." I spoke softly.

    "Nikolai," she warned, her tone a bit more stern.

    I sighed. "Yes okay... Yes I have... Wolfsbane, vervaine, magic... anything you can think of I've done or attempted it.... Except drugs... Human drugs dont work the same... I mean Ive tried human drugs before but my supernatural blood doesnt mix with it, my magic instantly dispels it... And my healing keeps me alive for the most part... If my heart stops I just end up waking up a few hours later... Hell ive had my heart ripped out and it didn't kill me... I just woke up half a day later..."

    "Those notebooks of yours you have spelled so no one can read them..."

    I froze as she said this. How had she even found my books? Had she gone through  my roon? I had a lot of hidden spaces in my room.

    "You went through my stuff?..."

    THis time she averted her gaze. So she had gone through my stuff. Why would she do that? I never gave her any reasons to. Have I?

    "Why did you go through my stuff?..."

    "I was worried. You try to hide it, but Ive noticed the changes in your behavior lately." She spoke as she looked back at me. "I wanted to make sure you weren't getting into something you would regret."