Unforgotten Words • Jenlisa ✔

Hatred

A/N: It wasn't as corrosive as I thought it would be :) the day I chose the word I was angry because of something on X, but when I wrote it I was fine. I think that's why I could be more fair while writing.

Hatred.

We are predisposed to hate things throughout life.

It's like a flame that consumes everything it touches, leaving only ashes and bitterness in its wake.

But perhaps it's more than that.

Perhaps it's a distorted reflection of something much deeper: love.

Some say it's easier to feel hatred than love. But hatred can be love's dark twin, evidence that our hearts are capable of feeling with devastating intensity, both for good and for ill.

How many times does hatred arise not because we don't care, but because we care too much? Perhaps it's because someone we loved disappointed us, or because an injustice touched us so deeply that we can only express our outrage through anger.

Sometimes it seems like it's the villain of our story, but is it really? Or is it just a misunderstood emotion hiding behind masks?

When we delve into the depths of our feelings, it's easy to fall into the trap of labeling them as good or bad. But what if I told you that no feeling is inherently good or bad? It seems like a paradox, doesn't it? But the truth is that the morality of our feelings lies not in themselves, but in our actions in response to them.

Hatred, like love, joy, or sadness, is just a piece in the complex puzzle of our emotions. It's neither villain nor hero, but rather a reflection of our inner world, shaped by our experiences, beliefs, and values.

And that's where the intellectual provocation comes in: hating something or someone is a choice we make or fail to make every day.

And the true power of our feelings lies here: in our capacity for choice.

We can choose to be prisoners of hatred and see the world through the blurred lenses of anger, or we can choose to channel all that intense energy into something that brings us joy.

Every day, I receive a flood of messages, some full of hatred, coming from people who don't even really know me. It's as if I were just a canvas for them to project their own frustrations and insecurities.

But hatred is just another color on the palette of our emotions, and it's up to us, - to me - to decide how to paint the picture of life.

Sometimes, it's tempting to strike back, you know? Let their hatred reach me and consume me too. It's easy to feel hurt, angry, even wanting to hate back.

And if there's one thing that truly breaks my heart, it's the damn fake news. 

There's a part of me that desperately wants to refute the rumors and openly confess who I really am and who I love.

But then, fear sets in. 

Fear of judgment, rejection, the massive hatred I know would come not just from my fans, but from the rest of the world. I'm still breaking barriers in Korea, and the idea of facing a storm of hatred for something so personal and intimate is oppressive.

It's a painful dilemma.

On one hand, I want to be true to myself, share my love openly, and challenge the stereotypes and prejudices that still exist. But on the other hand, I know I'm not strong enough to deal with the incessant tsunami of hatred and intolerance that would come as a result, at least for a while until they forget and soften our protagonism in what they think concerns them.

It's crazy how some people have so much free time and so little morality to invent lies about me. Like rumors about supposed relationships of mine. I'm shattered to see how these lies can hurt not only me, but also her, who has already gone through so many ups and downs, alone and because of me, for staying by my side.

It's the only time I find myself faltering in forgiveness. Because it's hard to ignore the damage these lies can cause, not only in my personal life, but also in the lives of those I love.

But then I remember: hatred only begets more hatred. And I refuse to be part of that cycle.

So, for now, I choose silence. Not because it's what I really want, but because I'm still not brave enough to face the consequences of revealing the truth. And it eats me up inside, the feeling of living a lie, of hiding who I really am for fear of what others will think.

But I choose to focus on the love and support I receive every day from my true fans, from those who stand by me no matter what.

And as long as I have her by my side, I know I can face any lie, any slander, any hatred the world decides to throw our way.

And you know what? In the end, love always wins. Always.

So, to all of you who send me messages full of hatred, know that I forgive you. And if that means being a little more compassionate and patient, then it's a choice I'm more than willing to make, even if you're not.

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