Infernum

↺ [10]

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"Heaven can be other people, but so is hell."

. . . . . . .

[ JIRO ]

JOHAN CALMED down a bit after he cried it all out in my arms. We were standing on a corner. My hands were around his hips, rubbing his skin in an effort to comfort him. He was laying his head on my shoulder. Both of us leaned to the wall.

"Soren didn't deserve this," I subconsciously said as I took a glance at Soren's flail body on the ground. I couldn't even muster the strength to look at his face. It was only his feet na kaya kong tingnan.

"None of us deserves this." Umayos ng sandal si Johan sa 'kin, prompting me to look at him.

Do we really not deserve this? I wanted to ask him that, but I just kept my mouth shut. I know how hard this is for him after all. He's carrying the burden of keeping our secrets. And I know for a fact that the secrets he keeps could be too hard to handle.

"You know what I did, right?" I couldn't help but talk.

"Ako lang naman talaga ang nakakaalam," he said, halos walang emosyon. "Bakit mo ba bini-bring up 'to ngayon?"

I took a deep breath as I leaned to his head. "We won't get out of here if walang aamin sa katotohanan. We're all going to die over and over again. Soren is going to die over and over again. I don't think kaya ng konsensya ko if my best friend is going to die like this everytime."

Umalis siya sa pagkakasandal sa 'kin. He stared at me, eyebrows furrowed and forehead creased.

"Ano'ng binabalak mong gawin?"

I forced a smile. "I'm going to confess what I did."

"No, you're not." He scoffed. "You won't."

"Han, this is the only way we can get out of here—"

"Hindi ka sigurado do'n. Hindi sigurado si Soren do'n. Walang nakakasigurado no'n." He slapped his forehead, staring at me with desperation. "Jiro, ano ba! Susugal ka sa isang bagay na walang kasiguraduhan!"

"I'm used to doing that." I smiled, weakly.

"Jiro!" Hinawakan niya ang magkabilang balikat ko. I immediately held them. "Wala kang aaminin, okay? Ni hindi nga tayo sigurado kung ano'ng mangyayari kapag may umamin, eh!"

"We'll be able to get out of here."

"'Yong iba! Pero paano 'yong aamin? Paano 'yong totoong nagkasala?"

Natigilan ako.

"Sisirain lang tayo ng lugar na 'to katulad ng ginawa ng babaeng 'yon! Magkakagulo na naman tayo nang dahil lang sa kaniya! Hindi ako papayag na hanggang kamatayan, sisirain niya ang mga kaibigan ko!"