You'll Always Have My Shoulder When You Cry

You Left

Random Alessio Aesthetic to remind you that he looks hot AF!

Recap

"Luca, why are you sorry? " Luca was going to answer then he remembered he shouldn't be speaking alessio wouldn't like it but Alessio was asking him a question, wasn't he? And if he doesn't answer then?

ALESSIO POV

I was getting bored of writing in the third person and wanted the sarcasm and the rambles!!

"I-I th-ought-y-you-l-left"Luca choked out. Shit! Luca's head was buried in my chest so I picked him up like he was a china doll —actually I would probably throw the china doll. I picked Luca up like he is my— yeah I have no valuable items. Did I just call Luca an item?

(A/N Wtf? I wrote that)

I lifted Luca into my arms, cradling him gently. I had no idea I could do anything gently. What if I drop Luca?

I held Luca as if he were the most precious thing in the world. Yeah lol no I was genuinely scared I would drop him. He looks exactly like me!

Ugh. What is this kid doing to me? Why am I overthinking this? I lift weights ten times his size and don't drop them.

But none of my weights are cute. That sounded wrong...

"I'm right here" I murmured. Since when do I mummer?

He's clearly not believing me. I don't know how to reassure anyone let alone a kid! If someone told me to comfort them I'd just tell them to fuck off. What if I say that to Luca by mistake?

 Shit, what if I lose my temper. Fuck! I shouldn't have been gone so long in the gym I should have checked. Shit, I haven't even apologized to him. Since when do I care about apologies? Also, why the hell is he saying sorry to me? Ugh is parenting just overthinking about everything?

"Luca..." Wow! I said his name. Now what was I going to say again?

"Luca I'm sorry I should have checked on you. I won't... " Leave you? But how can I say that when I'm not even sure?

"Why did you say sorry though? " I wonder what he's thinking I can't really see his face since his shin is now resting on my shoulder which is so cute. Damn it, He's so cute and he looks exactly like me. I think he's overthinking and forgot even to answer. Damn, I do that! He looks so cute. Do not smile. Do not SMILE!!

"Luca... " I bit my lip so I didn't smile 'cause that would be rude. Since when do I care about being rude? Since when do I smile? Damn. Okay, this is awkward... Oh shit, I have to say something... But what?? Agh!!

"T-t-hought y-you a-re mad," He said while crying on my shoulder not looking at me. Damn, he thinks I'm mad like mad crazy type or... Oh, he means mad at me. Fuck I'm bad at this

"Why would I be mad? " Maybe I should have said it softer and gentler. Ugh, I need to work on that. 

 "B-becas-se...I-I..." Luca's voice trailed off, his tears soaking into my shirt. Damn. I'm supposed to be the one protecting him from all this crap, not causing it.

I gently lifted his chin, forcing him to look at me maybe I shouldn't have forced him. "Luca, you can tell me anything. I'm here for you, okay? I won't get mad or ever hurt you" Please believe me. I don't know what I'd do if I screwed this up. Tears were still rolling down his face but he never made one single noise. 

"I-I g-got scared" He hid his face in one of the blankets and this time he wasn't scared he was shy. Aww. I never said 'Aw' for the record. He got scared but why? I didn't want to force him to talk but...

"Buddy, why did you think I would leave?" I didn't want to push him too hard, but I needed to understand what the fuck was happening?

Luca hesitated for like an hour, fidgeting nervously with the edge of the blanket. I fought back the urge to sigh and roll my eyes. I knew I had to be patient, but damn, he could really take his time. "B-because I spoke," he finally whispered, his voice barely audible. I swear Luca thinks I have Superman's hearing.

Why would he think that though? Also, the logic of that is completely bullshit. Fuck! I forgot he's three! Also, how do you talk to someone who you literally can't see? 

"Why would I ask you to speak if I didn't want you to speak?" I tried to make my voice as sweet as possible. I'm rolling my eyes that I even did that but I didn't want to scare him. Luca just shrugged. I always shrug when Matt asks me questions and now I know how he feels. Karma is bitch.

"Talking is a good thing. It helps us understand each other better. And I want to understand you, buddy. So, you don't ever have to be scared to speak to me, okay? And I'm not going to leave you." What else do I say? Talking with him is like talking to yourself.

Luca nodded hesitantly, but I could tell he was still unsure. My first-ish lecture as a parent. Go me! After our conversation, I decided it was time to distract Luca from everything. I went to go and fill the bathtub.

"Hey buddy, wanna go for a bath?" I asked, trying to sound cheerful. Keyword is tried

Luca's eyes widened in surprise, but he nodded slowly. I picked him up gently. He clung to me not so gently, his little fingers gripping my shirt. His entire body was tense so when we reached thee bathroom I put him down.

 Okay, now how do I explain this again? The bathtub water was lukewarm so I had to get him in and I'm a million percent sure  he's scared

"Luca do you wanna remove your hoodie or should I?" I know he's going to get scared the minute I come close. Luca gripped the hoodie and took two steps away from me. I was definitely not hurt when he did that.

"It's okay, buddy," I reassured him, crouching down to his level which was so short. "I won't do anything you don't want me to. We can take it slow, okay?"

Luca nodded slowly, his grip on his hoodie loosening slightly. I waited and waited as he very slowly pulled it over his head. I was not prepared for what happened next. I should have remembered that his chest was covered in scars and bandages I knew they were bad but this was not bad it was horrible...