The forgotten Destiny ( Ongoing )

Reason

TAY POV

For one week nanon didn't talk to anyone mostly he's stayed to his room and just going out when he wants to eat or do his business. He didn't bother to talk to me neither me cause I still want to make our situation be cold first so that we could really talk properly.

His brothers already asked me on what's happening but I didn't want to tell them because it will make us more complicated, I don't want to give them a hope that impossible to happend.

Actually we still have a 2 weeks before I go back to my work. I planned to make memories with my sons this months but I guess this happened makes it impossible. The kids was staying at their room even though I told them to hangout with their friends but they said to that they are worried about nanon.

What should I really do about this, I don't know if I really need to tell them about this or should I pretend that everything is just fine.

Tay.." I heard a called from my back while massaging my own head. I look it up and saw mom who's holding a glass of water.

Mom why are you here?.." I get up to give him a warm hug which she give back with tightly hug too.

Auntie Godji called me and asked to stop by.." She said while holding my hands and I saw aunt godji in the side looking worriedly to me. I know that she's just really worried aout us that's why she asked mom's help.

Are you okay? Do you need someone to talk?.." She said worry was written on her face as she put the water in the table and sit beside across the chair.

I don't want to be nosy you know that but seeing you like this right now son I know there something wrong.." Mama said. I look at her again before getting the water that she gave and drink it.

I thought you guys would fun but why are you comeback here as if something bad happens.." Mama continuously asked. I look at her this time thinking this is maybe a good chance to asked her opinion. I took a deeply breath before talking again.

Mom do you think I'm a worst dad?.." I firstly asked and look at the glass in front of me.

No! Why you asked like that?.." A hurriedly answer I got from my mom as he made me look at her.

Did something happend while you are on your vacation?.." She asked so I tried to compose myself.
I removed myself from her hold and focus on my hands instead.

I thought that if we finally said goodbye to their papa we will finally can start a new life. I thought that it would less hurt for us to do that but why everytime we do that it always ended hurting us more.." I frustrated said to my mom. Holding tightly to the glass, the aircon was on but I feel suffocated right now.

Son what don you mean? What really happened?.." My mom asked, she look so worriedly to me.

Mom nanon said he saw New in the resort that we visited." I said to my mom and I saw how her eyes flickered and she look surprised even auntie is surprised to what they hear.

What did you say? Nanon saw who?.." Mom repeated it as if she didn't believe it too.

He saw New in the place where the accident happened.." Hands were clasps together as I'm still unsure how would I feel about this.

Is that true?.." My mom surprised face is what I expected right now.

Tay.." After a while she hold my hands that gripping tightly each other.

I'm too surprised with this situation that your sons going through. Did you talk to your nanon?.." She hold my face and make me face on her.

Probably you scold him and make him feel that way right?.." She said. My mom know me too much she already know how I reacted that way.

Mom I don't even want to believe on this but I feel so pity to my sons.." I said. It was so frustrating that I can't even think of straight right now, I feel like I'm being biased and unfair at the  same time I didn't consider my sons feelings about their opinion before making them letting go their papa.

I don't want to believe but seeing nanon like that makes me more guilty if I'm doing the right choice to make them move forward.." I said

Am I wrong mom to do this? I just want them to move on our life without hurting thinking about their papa. I don't want them or us to continue being miserable like this for a long time.." I said in so much pain but I'm trying my best not to cry especially on my mom.

Son your not wrong okay, don't think like that.." I look at my mom and I know she is trying her too not to be emotional.

You maybe do it in a way that they will hurt them but trust me all of us know that you just want the best for your sons.." She continued. I look at her and to auntie godji as if she assuring me too that she's on my side too.

Try to talk it out to nanon in a calm way and try understand why he act like that.." The way my mom make me understand the situation made me realize that a parents should be like this. They are the one who should understand their childern more.

You know your sons right? They will never disrespect you and New in that way so you should know there's a reason why he do that.." She said.

Mom is right. I should know very well my sons cause we never raised them to be like that in other people especially on us.

They need you more than anything else right now Tay, so don't be so hard on yourself and make them understand the situation you are trying to do.."

Tay I know you're tired too so always remember that we are here for you okay. Don't be so hard on yourself son.." My mom said but I still tried myself holding my emotions and just smile bitterly.

Thank you mom I know wound will never heal from us and that's the thing that I need to think over again and again so that I can't add more pain in their heart and mind that they are already trying to get rid.
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