Hold On To Me (Marina)

20.I Won't Give Up

20.

Well, I won't give up on us
Even if the skies get rough
I'm giving you all my love
(Jason Mraz-I Won't Give Up)

When Maya and Carina entered Keira's room, the girl was listening to some music, tapping on the bed sheets with her fingers, completely lost in a world of her own. She had lost her old phone in the fire and the two women had bought her one, a smartphone this time, so that she could have access to internet. Both Maya and Carina smiled at that sight. In that moment she looked like a normal teenager, not like someone forced to endure so much undeserved pain. When Keira noticed their presence, however, she stopped the music and put her phone down on the small nightstand next to the bed.

"I'm sorry, I..."

"Shh, hey, it's okay." Carina reassured her. "What were you listening to?"

"Some underground bands, nothing you know I think."

"Hey, you're definitely underestimating us." Maya chuckled . "Let me see.". The blonde read the song's title and the name of the band Keira had just stopped listening to and frowned. "Okay, I don't know them, you were right.". The girl shrugged, a melancholic gaze on her face.

"My brother opened one of their shows once. It was just him playing his guitar and singing, I remember that night as it happened yesterday.". It was the first time Maya and Carina heard her talking about Raphael and they weren't sure what to do. In the end, they chose to let her talk, without interrupting her. They wanted to show her that she could open up with them, that they were safe.

"Anyway, how are you?" the girl, however, shifted the topic. "You told me you weren't feel great and that was the reason why you had to go home the other day."

"Oh, erm..." Carina stuttered, caught off guard by that question. "I feel better, yes. And we're sorry we couldn't be here with you."

"Oh, it's okay. I'm kinda used to it.". The two women were aware of the fact that Keira didn't mean to be rancorous. She was just stating a matter of fact. But still, they found her words utterly heartbreaking. Besides her brother, that girl had never had anyone to completely rely on. Maya couldn't help but see herself in her. Before becoming part of Nineteen she had never thought she could rely on anyone. And, somehow, not even that had been enough, not until she had met Carina. The Italian had definitely showed her that it was okay to fall sometimes, because someone ready to catch her existed, because someone ready to mysteriously love her existed. Even if she thought she couldn't deserve it. Especially when she thought she couldn't deserve it.

"Well, I'm happy you feel better." Keira said. "I feel bored instead. Do you know when I can leave this place?"

"Hopefully soon, bambina." Carina answered, sitting on the bed. "But you still need to stay here a bit more.". The girl snorted and laid back against the pillow, clearly annoyed by that statement. Truth was that she didn't really want to leave the hospital. It would have meant that everything she had went through, Raphael's death, the assault, everything would have been real and she didn't want it to be real. The mere thought hurt so much. At the same time, however, she needed to get out of there. Raphael would have never wanted her to stay in a hospital for so long. She had to be strong and not listen to the pain she was enduring. Weakness was something she wasn't allowed to feel.

"Hey, what do you think about wandering around the hospital? Teddy told me you can use the wheelchair now." Carina suggested. Keira frowned, taken aback by that proposal. She looked at Maya, who just shrugged, waiting for her to decide, something the girl's psychiatrist had asked them to encourage.

"It's up to you, sweetie." the blonde told her. "We'll be with you all the time. And it's a hospital, this is the safest place in the world.". Carina bit her lip, not really sure about Maya's words. Grey Sloan had faced so many absurd tragedies throughout the years, from a shooting to a fire, from the hospital being flooded to a large part of the staff ending up high because of marijuana biscuits, that place was far from being the safest place in the world for sure, but Keira definitely didn't need to know that.