Crashing You Open \\ Reneé Rapp

Chapter 12

Reneé's POV

It had been 3 weeks since I'd heard from Jordan. I was really sad right away because I really thought we shared a special connection.

That night I waited for her to come back from the bathroom and started to get concerned until I got a text 15 minutes later.

Had to go home, sorry

Since then, I've texted her a few times, none of which garnered a response.

What do you mean? Are you ok?

Hey, not sure what happened last night, but hope you're doing okay <3

I haven't heard from you in a few days, I'm really confused, did I do something wrong?

But now I'm mad.

Instead of blowing up her phone with angry texts, I decided to take the mature route; writing an absolute banger about this and blasting her to the world. Nobody would know it's partially about Jordan of course, but she would know.

This isn't the first time I kissed a girl at the bar, shared a connection, then they promptly disappeared. This time felt different for some reason though, it hurt more than the others.

I started playing around with a few lines that apply both to Jordan and to many other experiences I've had where I woke up the next morning disappointed and alone.

The chorus flowed out of me with surprising ease.

In the p.m., all the pretty girls
They have a couple drinks, all the pretty girls
So now they wanna kiss all the pretty girls
They got to have a taste of a pretty girl
In the a.m., all the pretty girls
Act like it never happenеd in another world
Yeah, it's a blessing and it's a cursе
So keep on pretending, pretty girl

Jordan's POV

I'm a mess.

I thought getting away from Reneé would be better, but I'm more upset than I have been in a long time... maybe she was helping? Maybe I should try to get over Ellie

No. I can't think like that. Ellie was my soulmate and nobody can replace the role she had in my life.

But I really miss Reneé.

I saw her texting me and I swear I wrote 200 potential responses spanning from 'I'm sorry, you couldn't possibly understand' to 'I'm sorry, you're incredible, but I need her' to 'I'm sorry, the way I feel about you scares me shitless' and everything in between.

Two weeks after I ran away from her and I'm just now realizing they all contain 'sorry'. Of course I know I acted like an asshole, but those apologies aren't to assuage my guilt, all of the ones I've written are for her. She deserves the world, the least I can do is give her an explanation.

I also realized over half of them revolved around me being scared, scared of how much I like her.

I swallowed my pride and typed up a new text.

Hey... I'm so incredibly sorry. About a lot of things. I understand if you don't want to see me, but you deserve an explanation. I'll be at the café you love on the corner by your studio tomorrow at 11am. I really hope you'll meet me Reneé, but no pressure.

I took a deep breath and clicked send. I recognized that I was trying so hard to come up with one succinct explanation, but that would never have been truthful. There were a lot of reasons I ran out then avoided Reneé for so long.

Now I just have to cross my fingers that she'll allow me to tell her them.

Reneé's POV

I'd been staring at my phone for a concerning amount of time.

What the actual fuck?!?! It took her 22 days to write that??

I mean don't get me wrong, it was actually a pretty good text and she does seem to feel bad...

NO RENEÉ!! I inwardly yelled at myself. Jordan actively ignored me for absolutely no reason. I'd scoured over that night so many times in my head and I'm still clueless on where it went wrong.

I'm itching to find out, but can I really let her get away with treating me like that?

Nope. I'm not going.

--,--,--,--

'Working' in the studio was basically just for show right now. I can't stop thinking about Jordan. I'd convinced myself that she doesn't deserve my time or understanding about this situation.

But she's literally around the corner sitting in the café. How did this girl already have such a hold on me? I rested my head on the piano causing it to play a few disheveled notes, perfectly matching my mood.

"What in the hell are you doing?" Adam asked as he walked in.

I didn't even know. So I just glared back at him.

"Ohhhh, you're still trying to decide what to do about Jordan aren't you?"

"Exactly. What am I supposed to do? Just forget what she did these past 3 weeks?" I questioned "whatever, she probably already left anyways" I murmured

"I'm going to say something you may not like. Why not go and hear her out? What do you have to lose by listening? I don't think I've ever seen you as excited about somebody as you were when you introduced us to Jordan" Adam spoke before adding "and she's still at the café"

My head shot up "You saw her??"

Adam simply walked out of the door with a "mmhmm."

Fuck Adam and his annoying rational words. I sighed and stood up, making my way to the café on the corner, spotting Jordan through the window immediately.

Author's Note:

Sorry sorry, I know this is pretty much just a short filler chapter with angst, but another chapter will be coming  later tonight if you guys blow this one up :)

Also thanks for 1K reads, this is so much fun!!