Crashing You Open \\ Reneé Rapp

Chapter 15

Jordan's POV

"I helped you pick out, transport, and place all of your furniture – we literally finished decorating less than 24 hours ago, I definitely don't need a tour" Reneé responded

"Booooo, lame. You were supposed to go along with the bit" I frowned

We spent all weekend at the furniture store and in my apartment getting everything set up. Not only does it look amazing, but we had a blast doing it.

Once I got out of my head about themes and other people's perceptions of my apartment, it was game on. We ran around the store giggling like maniacs throwing things in the cart left and right. It was surprisingly easy putting it all together once we got back to my place too.

After each area of the apartment was complete, we'd turn the volume up on my new sound system (the first thing we set up of course) and have a celebratory dance party which quickly turned into 'who can do the worst and most cringey dance move'.

Reneé took first place after she started flossing. God, I hate that dance move, but after her hilarious failed attempt at it, I might have a new favorite.

Last night when we finally flopped down on my big comfy couch and took the whole space in, I was actually proud of how awesome my apartment looked. It might look a little hectic to some people, but it's the perfect home for me.

"Sorry sorry, hold on let's reset" Reneé walked back outside and knocked on the door again.

"Oh just get in here" I said as I opened the door, chuckling at her sweetness "There is in fact something you haven't seen yet though, it is the final decorative piece for my place"

"Oooooo, consider me intrigued" Reneé wiggled her eyebrows in response as I pulled her over to my living room.

I pointed at my previously empty side table, "I know that night ended poorly, but we had a great time at the bar and I want a reminder of that happiness everyday"

A picture frame sat atop the table. It's us at the karaoke bar holding onto each other tightly, Reneé's head thrown back in laughter and me clutching my chest laughing just as hard looking at her. I had Alyah send it to me and I picked up the print after work today.

"I love it JB, we look so happy" Reneé turned towards me with a smile

"That's why I needed it here. You continue to make my life better and better... Speaking of, I have my therapy appointment in an hour so let's dig into that food"

--,--,--,--

Renee's POV

Jordan asked me to stay in her apartment while she takes her appointment in the other room. I, of course, said yes. I want to be here for her in case she's upset afterwards.

Swiping around on social media kept my concern at bay. I know the appointment is an hour long but the wait is killing me.

Finally I hear her door creak open and see Jordan shuffling towards me with her head hung low. She took a deep shaky breath and looked up at me – her eyes were watery and red-rimmed. She'd just been crying. I expected this but every time I see her upset my heart chips a bit.

Words didn't need to be spoken, we communicated through our eyes.

Jordan's lip started quivering as she walked over to my outstretched arms. Just like last time, she laid on top of me and cuddled her face into my neck as she began crying. I rubbed circles onto her back and began humming a tune softly into her ear.

As she calmed down, she pushed up on her hands and I realized how close our faces are. I brought my hand up and pushed her hair behind her ears before wiping her cheeks free of the half-dried tears that lingered.

Just friends.

Just friends.

Just friends.

I chanted in my head.

Just friends.

In need of an out, but also in concern, I broke the silence; "are you ok JB?"

She sat all the way up and grabbed my feet, setting them on her lap. She anxiously rubbed my feet – a great little masseuse I mentally noted.

"I'm good" Jordan breathed out with a raspy voice from crying "it was actually really great"

"Why are you so upset then?" I questioned, a bit confused

"Honestly because I'm angry. I'm angry with myself for not getting help sooner. I've allowed myself to wallow in this guilt and sadness for so many years. Don't get me wrong, I have soooo much work to do with Dr. Green, but this was an incredible start" Jordan admitted with a small smile "Thank you for encouraging me to do this Nae"

My smile grew at the sound of that nickname "I'm so so proud of you and don't worry, I'm not going anywhere" I said as I shuffled around on the couch to give her a hug

We both melted into the others' hold. I needed to lighten the mood to re-enter friend zone.

"And 'Nae'? I love that, it's about time you finally settled on a nickname for me" I bumped into her shoulder with mine

--,--,--,--

At the studio later that day I couldn't stop thinking about the tune I was humming to Jordan. I threw the keys down and lyrics began to come together in my head. I also couldn't stop thinking about how badly I wish I could take the pain away from her... the chorus just started making sense from there.

So I'm coming to you
Can I get your permission
To lay underneath you?
Not a special occasion
I just had a feeling
Wanna ask how you're doing
And mean it, I mean it, oh

Jordan, don't cry, don't cry
Jordan, don't cry, Jordan
Jordan, don't cry, don't you
Jordan, don't cry, don't cry
Jordan, I'll cry, Jordan
Jordan, I'll cry for you

I absolutely loved it.

Author's Note:

I was on vacation this weekend so sorry I didn't post any new chapters!! But I'll give you 2 today to make up for it ;) thanks for reading xx