Crashing You Open \\ Reneé Rapp

Chapter 20

Renee's POV

I'm in the studio with Alexander cutting the vocals for Gemini Moon. This song was a bitch to get right and we'd been working on it all week.

In the middle of the chorus my phone pinged.

I only have the ringer on for one contact, Jordan's. I sprinted off my chair, scrambling to grab my phone from my bag. Seeing her notification filled my heart with nervous excitement, but the simplicity of the message surprised me.

After writing and deleting numerous responses, I followed suit in her style.

No, I ended it the moment I left your apartment

I nervously tapped the side of my phone as text bubbles continuously popped up before disappearing countless times.

Come over tonight if you're free, we can talk. Anytime works.

My heart damn near fell out of my chest I was so thrilled by her response.

Oh my god, thank you so much!!! I'll be there in 20 minutes <3

I don't even care how desperate I sound. I ran into the booth to apologize and say goodbye to a confused Alexander before bolting to my car.

I can't wait to see her is all I can think.

Jordan's POV

I'm nervously drumming my fingers on my leg as I wait for Reneé to get here.

When she responded my heart did a leap for joy knowing I finally get to see her again. But my brain reminded it to calm down... she really hurt me.

I fixed myself up in the mirror quickly – I don't want her to see how sad I've been without her from my disheveled appearance.

As I heard a knock on my door my heart rate skyrocketed.

"Hey" Reneé said hesitantly

I reminded myself I'm still angry, "hi" I said shortly as I motioned for her to walk in

"How was your week?" she questioned as she sat down on my couch

"Reneé please, let's just cut right to the point, I'm letting you explain so explain" I responded, a little frustrated as I sat down in the armchair on the other side of the living room.

The blonde visibly flinched at my words and seating choice. I can't lie, I feel really bad and a huge part of me wanted to run over to the couch next to her. But I know I need to put some physical distance between us so I can listen.

"As you wish" Reneé took a deep breath and folded her hands "3 weeks ago you and I were wrestling over the remote. I don't know if you remember, but I ended up pinning you down in the tussle and our faces were inches apart. As we know though, we're supposed to just be friends." she used air-quotes around friends "When I left that night I was horny as hell to be completely honest"

I blushed at this remembering that night all too well, my vibrator got some use after she left to say the least.

"So, I made the stupid decision to start swiping on dating apps. I matched with Alissa and went over to their house. It was supposed to be a one-time thing... but you and I continuously found ourselves in compromising positions so I continuously found myself at Alissa's house. It was purely physical and I never once had feelings for them, I swear JB"

As I took this in, I had a lot of questions, but I landed on one first. "If you never had feelings then why did you say you were seeing someone?"

"Because that wouldn't have been fair to them. But more importantly, it wouldn't have been fair to you. I didn't want us to finally get our start only for it to be under false pretenses, I needed to tell you" Reneé quickly answered

"Ok, I appreciate that, but it doesn't make it ok. You were the one who said you would wait for me Reneé. I told you not to but you insisted. So how do you think it feels for you to betray me like that?" I responded starting to find my anger again

Reneé took a shaky breath as if she was holding back tears "I know. And as much as I wish I did, I don't have an excuse for that. All I can do is apologize profusely and work to show you that that isn't me and all I want is you."

Tears threatened to fall from my eyes now hearing her say that. "I know it wasn't fair of me to expect you to wait and honestly you having meaningless sex isn't what upset me most"

Reneé looked at me with a confused expression

"It's the fact that you didn't tell me" I admitted as I started crying "We spent every single day together Nae. I told you my absolute deepest darkest secrets, yet you couldn't even tell me about some girl you were fucking. I feel so betrayed because you weren't honest. I'm scared that there are more things you haven't been truthful about. I just... I don't know how to trust you."

Tears were pouring over Reneé's cheeks hearing this admission.

"I'm so so sorry baby, I had no intention of making you feel that way. I thought it would be awkward between us if you knew there was someone else, no matter how insignificant they were. Please give me the opportunity to rebuild your trust in me" she practically begged

This is so hard. Trust is an extremely delicate thing with me, but all I want is Reneé. This week was absolutely horrible without her.

Reneé's POV

I sat there, staring at Jordan, pleading with my eyes for her to give me a second chance.

"Okay" she finally spoke quietly "I want to gain that trust again. I know you Nae, I know in my heart you never wanted to hurt me. I need some time for my brain to catch up with my heart though"

An ocean of relief flooded through every inch of my body.

"Oh thank god. Thank you JB, I'm so so sorry, I've missed you so much baby" I pulled her up into a hug as we both softly cried. It was the most genuine hug we've had to date – soft but firm, silent but speaking volumes, loving and full of relief. I could've stayed there for hours.

I made a promise to myself in that moment. I will never hurt this beautiful soul again. And I will do everything in my power to make sure nobody else does either.

Author's Note:

Ok ok I listened, Reneé has been forgiven! Not together yet but a step in the right direction

Keep voting and commenting else Reneé is going back to Alissa