See Through Me // Harry Styles

Chapter 2

The next morning, I woke up and got to the studio. Even after selling my songs, I still kept recording them. It made me feel a little better. I walked in and set down my things. Even now, I collided with the thought of Harry out of my mind. Why? What? Taking out my notebook, I reread my latest song - paranoia. I do not know if this song ever will see this world. This is a track that I've been trying to put into words since forever. Now I almost did. I make my songs to tell stories, some reflect on my life or dreams, other on words problems, vices, happiness, misses. In the past months, I cannot choose what to write about. I had a song called "Got me thinking" about a woman in an arranged marriage falling in love with a detective but getting killed by the woman her arranged husband loves. She kills her because she doesn't know that the marriage is arranged. I have other songs too "the love of god" for a young lady getting called witch and hated by everybody but a man approaches and nobody approves their love so they run away then they call another young lady witch so she runs away, "till it drain" is about me dying and how I think people will react and the latest finished one is "after storm, sun" and it's about how everything will get better, hopefully. These songs will probably never see the world, well maybe "the love of god" has a chance, small but a chance.

"Mornin' sun" I hear Louise's voice. The reason I make music. If there was only me I was prolly gonna follow my parents dream to become a lawyer or doctor. Happily or maybe not, I gave up on university and started working in a bar. There I met Gemma, who told me I should start making music. Now I'm here, making music just not for myself.

"Hi babe, how's everything, Charlie?" Louise was older than me. Everybody was older that me, well Charlie wasn't. Louise had a one-night stand when she just became eighteen. Now Charlie is turning five. Louise got left all alone after the baby daddy ran away, not looking back. That broke her. Her parents left her, so she had to work while she was pregnant but had no job and I felt bad, so we lived together in my apartment. But five months ago, Louise moved out of my apartment. Not having her around made worse, but I don't have the heart to tell her that. Seeing her and Charlie makes me sadly nostalgic about the time I was bad but not worst.

"Charlie is great. But how was your night? Met somebody maybe?" Now that Louise was in love, all I hear was about meeting my "epic love."

"Actually, I finally met Harry. It wa- "

"You what! Oh, god! How he is like. Is he as handsome as in pictures or?" Louise turned with the "is he your man," smile.

"It was wild and odd. He was high." I say with a grin on my face. "For the first official meeting," I mumbled the last part.

"Oh c'mon, just because the first time you met he was the rudest person in this world and that broke your heart, so you removed every poster in your room doesn't mean he is actually a bad person. He maybe vaccinated in the mood then." Louise says jerking at me. Yes, I lied. I met Harry when I just came to London and it broke my heart. I wanted a picture, but he just said "No, get out of here". Nowadays I understand him. At the end of the day, I'm the moodiest person ever, but the sixteen-year-old Winter that was in love with Harry, it felt way much more personal. After that, I got to my apartment with Louise and removed every single poster, CD, and vinyl I had. Deleted all photos of him in my gallery and sank him in the littlest piece of my heart. He probably doesn't remember me and has acted like that with more fans, but for little baby Winter, it was her biggest ever problem. I felt so disgusting after that and was ashamed to tell anybody else other that Louise, later when I met Gemma I told her. She told me he rarely acts like that, so maybe something could've happened or he is just a dick. It felt even more intimate because the first song ever I wrote was about him. It was called "perfection" and was basically just words that rhyme, but it was something. It was about him.