𝙍𝙄𝙋𝙏𝙄𝘿𝙀 BOOK ONE || 𝐑𝐚𝐟𝐞 𝐂𝐚𝐦𝐞𝐫𝐨𝐧 𝐎𝐁𝐗 𝐅𝐢𝐜

𝔖𝔲𝔫𝔰𝔢𝔱'𝔰 ℜ𝔢𝔤𝔯𝔢𝔱

ᴺᴼᵂ ᴾᴸᴬᵞᴵᴺᴳ : Chemtrails Over The Country Club - Lana Del Rey

⇄ ◃◃ ⅠⅠ ▹▹ ↻

0:50 ———|———— -4:31

𝐼'𝓂 𝓃𝑜𝓉 𝓊𝓃𝒽𝒾𝓃𝑔𝑒𝒹 𝑜𝓇 𝓊𝓃𝒽𝒶𝓅𝓅𝓎, 𝐼'𝓂 𝒿𝓊𝓈𝓉 𝓌𝒾𝓁𝒹

𝐼'𝓂 𝑜𝓃 𝓉𝒽𝑒 𝓇𝓊𝓃 𝓌𝒾𝓉𝒽 𝓎𝑜𝓊, 𝓂𝓎 𝓈𝓌𝑒𝑒𝓉 𝓁𝑜𝓋𝑒

─── ⋆⋅☆⋅⋆ ───

Since that fateful night on Midsummers, Isla Blackwell felt a piece of her heart freeze and turn cold and vicious, an ice so thick not even Summer could thaw her. The part that belonged to him. As much as she hated herself for it, there was a tiny piece of her that still tugged out of her chest for him, but it seemed to have stopped beating since that night. 

Maybe a piece of her would always exist purely for him, she prayed it would heal in time, that maybe it'd disappear, but despite everything. He was her first kiss. He was her first, what could have been...

She had spent the next couple of days with Dean, reliving it all over again. Going through every series of events to the point that she couldn't even stomach to say his name out loud, nor hear it. Instead, his name had become forbidden within their conversations. 

Dean comforted her, taking her out to the mainland everyday trying to escape the suffocation of Outer Banks, and a part of her knew she was trying to run from the inevitable. Seeing him again, how could she see him again? 

Above all the betrayal, the greatest to her was that he had replaced that night in her mind from the tenderness of being in his arms, of pretending to herself that she was his. Instead, it was warped with the image of Emma Lautner's lipstick and her hand snaking around his neck, like Rafe was hers. They could have each other. 

The pain never dulled, but she could suppress it. Dean and Isla would walk around the mainland, shopping and come home to her empty house to drink bottles of wine they snuck from her fathers' wine cellar, out by the pool and smoke and drink until the sun came up the next day.

With Dean, she never ran out of reasons to laugh and as much as she loved Sarah, Isla wasn't sure how to be around her now, they had gotten to get coffee a few times together - but the gnawing pit in her stomach ached at the end of the day. There was so much Sarah didn't know and on top of everything, she wasn't sure she could handle losing Sarah too, if she told her. 

But the day came, the day she knew would arrive. Today use to be Isla's favourite day of the year, now she deliberated how to avoid it. It was the opening night of the Starlight Drive-In. Ironically, it was also opening with a screening of Casablanca. Her favourite movie. 

Sarah and Isla would curl up on the couch in Winter, with burning cups of cocoa, at the Cameron house and sniffle at Rick Blaine's, "here's looking at you, kid." Wheezie would tease them, with hidden tears in her eyes, and Rafe. Well, Rafe had always rolled his eyes and teasing her pulled on her ponytail. 

So, tonight, Dean had decided they would go with a bottle of rosé and buy the biggest buckets of kettle corn possible, to drown their tears into. 

Clipping the two front pieces of her hair back, and her gold aquamarine hoops in she skipped down her steps out into the driveway determined to keep laughing. To go on as if nothing had happened. She wouldn't let herself spend another second crying over him.