Walking Contradiction

Chapter 5

Juliet

God, would he just stop calling. Three months of non-stop calls, texts, DMs, emails. The only thing left for him was to go full olden style and put pen to paper, writing a letter. Mateo had not respected my wish for him to simply leave me the hell alone. How hard was 'Don't ever, ever speak to me again' to understand? It escalated the most when he found out – most likely from his mom – that I declined my acceptance to Colorado school of mines and instead accepted Colorado state University offer to attend. Truthfully, I had been too late with enrolling after I got the acceptance but thanks to my parents pulling some strings, which I never let them do, the offered still stood. Their name carried some weight.

Mateo even came by the house a few times, first time a month ago. My mom, who I love so dearly, but not that dearly the moment she let him inside as if I hadn't told her I didn't want anything to do with him. Thankfully my sister Fleur helped me sneak out the backdoor, all while telling them I was in my room upstairs.

I didn't have the guts to tell my parents of what Mateo had done, what he had said. I still try to forget it, but it won't stop coming back to me. I hear the laughter in my sleep, every time I look in the mirror, every time a step or chair slightly squeaks or anytime a picture of him pops up. It's everywhere, and I can't get past it. I've really tried, even so desperate to turn to self-help books. Not that they helped.

The only thing that helped remotely was Fleur. She's truly been my rock this summer, and her friends, Jamie, and Sabrina. She's had the same girlfriends for some years now, not as long as me and Mateo, not that it seemed to have meant anything. I must admit I was a bit surprised when they just took me in, without question.

Fleur and her friends all met in the last year of high school, at a study gathering for people planning on applying to Colorado state University. Luckily, well thanks to hard work, they all got in together and are now in their second year. They really took me under their wings this summer, taking me anywhere and everywhere with them. Well anywhere I would agree, mostly cafes, restaurants, the beach, and the occasional sleepover. They've tried their best to drag me along to a party or small hangout, but I wasn't really interested. Considering what happened last time, I avoided them like the plague.

But anyways, because I haven't told my parents, they think this is just a small spat between me and Mateo that will be resolved soon. I don't exactly know how they would react to be honest as their relationship to Mateo's family isn't connected to me directly. It would be different if our families weren't so intertwined in each other's lives. I wouldn't even have to tell them we stopped being friends, I could have just quietly moved on.

Funny enough, the second person that have been blowing up my phone is Mateo's mother, who is interestingly the one that seems to be the most upset with him. Neither him nor I have told her of what happened, from what I can tell. But it's as if she doesn't even need the explanation, just by reading my behavior she could psychically feel my hurt. She's sent me multiple text messages over the summer of how much she misses me and honestly, I miss her too. Laila is like a second mom to me. So, since I've obviously stopped hanging around her house, which I did with or without Mateo, we mostly text now. She sends me a picture of every loaf of bread she bakes, ever bird she spots in the garden and everything that reminds her of me. I send her pictures of the cover of every book I'm currently reading, every cat I find as I stroll the neighborhood and every funny thing my mom does. Their like soul bonded sisters and always have been. Mateo's dad had been more distant, although he's been sweet and sent me some book quotes at random. We don't read exactly the same books, but I enjoy his efforts to keep connected.

I turned down another call from Mateo and was thankful when my screen remained black. Today was my first week at university and as I'm standing outside the – what seemed like mountain high – white brick building, I've never felt smaller.