Walking Contradiction

Chapter 8

Juliet

"I can't believe you never told me, it's Amir Steel for Christ's sake," Fleur said, or more accurately repeated the words that had been on rotation for the past couple of days.

How didn't you tell me?

Did you hook up with him?

Why would you keep this from me?

With Amir of all people, the biggest player.

Etcetera, etcetera, etcetera. All the girls had bombarded me, practically forcing me to divulge every little detail of that night long ago at the lake house and now the night this past weekend. Hearing their responses, how they spoke of him made me even more embarrassed of all the different thoughts and feelings that stirred inside every time he crossed my mind.

"He's got quite the... reputation," Jamie relayed, voice faint as if trying to soften the blow to my pride. Little did she now, she didn't have to worry. My pride was just about numb from repeated humiliation.

After I ran out of the party this weekend and escaped home, I heard all about it from the girls that stayed at the lodge. Words traveled fast, just like in high school. The words in question concerned Amir and I, alone in a room at the first party of the semester. His first conquest.

"If by reputation you mean being a man whore, then yes I would say that's equivalent," Sabrina said, earning an elbow in the ribs from Jamie. She winced at the impact, seeming puzzled.

"What? It's true. Listen Juliet-" She turned to me. "Being super charming and smooth talker is just how many guys act. Especially the fucking captains of the football team." Sabrina laid it out black and white but all I felt was red hot shame. You would think getting put down as harshly as I was by Mateo would in some way make me a bit more... critical. Perhaps I would have even learned something. But no, and I blame it all on every romance book I've ever consumed.

"Shit, just let the earth swallow me," I cried out as I leaned over the cafeteria table, letting the my hood cover most of my head and sweeping my arms around me as shields for the rest.

"Come on, it was just the first school activity, and we still had some fun. Besides, everyone embarrasses themselves at a party, it's basically a requirement." Fleurs words were urgent as they spilled out, trying to fight against my growing pity party. I spotted Jamie perk up in agreement from behind the cover of my hoodie-covered forearm.

"Exactly, I–not proudly might I add–made out with what I thought was a super tall hot guy at a party... but it turned out to be a manakin the design majors used," Sabrina and Fleur giggled, they must have known this.

"I once puked all over this super cute girl that held my beer funnel," Our laughs grew louder at Fleurs sudden confession. She held her hands over her eyes and cheeks, covering up her face much like I have. I lifted my head higher from the safety of my arms.

"Well, I actually never told you girls this but once... fuck I can't believe I'm about to tell you this," Sabrina's hands shoot up to cover her mouth, as if her body forbade her to confess her sins.

"Please, you have to! Come on, how bad can it possibly be?" Fleur begged, most likely wanting to shift the embarrassment from her.

"Fine... But no judgement." She pointed a sharp red manicured nail at every single one of us before she continued.

"Last summer I visited my grandparents in Salt Lake City and got invited to a party by my cousins. It was a costume party and all I had was a red dress, so I thought naturally the easiest dress up was the devil. So, I bought just a few things to make it a complete costume, devil horns, tail, pitchfork, and gory red make up. The basics, you know." She shrugged as she spoke, but then pursed her lips slightly to the side, more unsure of the next thing to say. "Well... I might have gotten a tad bit too drunk and fell asleep in the venues closet in the far back. No one could find me and just guessed I returned home. As I woke up the next day and the past night came back to me, I tried to sneak out without being not noticed knowing I've fucked up, bad. But, as I returned to the main room, the next renters had already showed up,"