Disclaimer: I am not an expert on this and wrote it in a simpler way according to my own research, especially the session part, so bear with me.
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Awareness
He looked so unconvinced by my offer. Ngunit ramdam ko na gusto niya ang naiisip ko, o gusto niyang makipagbalikan.
I chugged down my third beer while he was enjoying his own ice cream and sandwich, like he was so hungry and that's the only thing that mattered to him at the moment.
Tiningnan ko ang menu para tumingin ng pulutan. I ordered some chicken wings and added another on his. Noong umalis ang waiter pagkatapos kunin ang order, muli ko siyang tinanong.
"Ano bang rason kaya kayo naghiwalay?" I asked.
He glared at me again, like it was a stupid question coming from someone behind it. So I pointed at myself curiously.
"Ako? Noong araw na 'yon? Anong kinakagalit niya doon sa'yo? Eh ako naman ang kaaway niya?"
He looked at his empty plate and sighed, like he's so done with my questions. "Sa amin nalang 'yon."
Umismid ako. "I am your wingman. Ang pangit naman kung wala akong alam. Paano ko kayo niyan tutulungang magkabalikan?"
He calmly looked at me. "Baka iba ang plano mo."
Namilog ang mga mata ko. "At ano naman?"
Nagtagal ang paninitig niya. I immediately shook my head.
"Bumabawi lang ako. 'Yun lang," I explained carefully.
"Hindi ka ba nakakapagsorry buong buhay mo na hirap na hirap ka?" he asked.
Nagsosorry naman. Pero pakiramdam ko ako lagi ang tama eh. Kaya bakit ako magsosorry? Polsci student pa 'to. Alam ko ang karapatang pangtao ko dito.
"Eh ikaw? Sino ang gumawa sa'yo at hindi ka marunong magpatawad?" maangas kong tango sa kanya.
"Childish." He rolled his eyes and leaned boredly on his seat, his hands were now crossed over his chest.
I chugged my beer again. May kumakanta nang ibang grupo sa harap na pinapanood niya. I couldn't relate to the song but somehow it's calm and lively.
Naglalakbay nga lang ang isip ko sa aking plano. Madali lang naman kasing intindihin kung paano gumagana ang relasyon. Oo, wala pa akong karanasan, pero madali lang naman.
I looked at my phone again, remembering I wanted to type some words for Shiloh but I couldn't. Suportado ko siya sa mga desisyon niya sa buhay, pero ito 'yung mahirap.
"Close kayo ni Shiloh, 'di ba?" I asked to coaxe another topic.
He nodded without glancing at me.
"Nagshi-share siya sa'yo tungkol sa love life niya?" I asked.
Now, he seemed like I got his attention and glanced at me. "Ang tsismoso mo talaga."
My brows knitted. "Concern lang! Taga Cebu 'yan. Dayo dito sa Manila. S'yempre ginagabayan ko rito. Close kami eh."
Mapangduda ang tingin niya. Para bang may naglalaro sa isip niya pero hindi niya lang maisaboses.
