You, Me, We Are All Mistakes

28. A SHOT TO THE HEAD

CHAPTER 28
A SHOT TO THE HEAD

The migrant ship safely orbited Braevitchka Four and Supercomputer was silent. The source of the distress signal had been located and Sennai deemed a landing party be formed consisting of himself, Taroooc, the Second Officer Cadet, two security robots, and the ship's Medical Officer, Yelyah Soss. Each of them was now assembled ready to be dispatched to the planet below by the Teleport Stream #16.

They were accompanied, at the insistence of Tzkk, by a giant protector in the form of his robot Zero. Sennai suspected this recommendation was made in the hope that this colossal robot might present an awkward fit into the stream and be split into trillions of atoms spread wide across the cosmic void. As a result, a Damage to Personal Property insurance claim may be raised in Tzkk's benefit.

The Teleport warning light flashed. It said:

REMEMBER: CLOSE YOUR EYES.

_____

#16 Teleport Streams are frequently used forms of matter transportation, but not universally popular. Billed as the greatest advance in quantum molecular transference and body conveyance, the mechanism resembles an expansive, colourful hosepipe. Due to the immense challenges in splitting a living being into its component subatomic particles, beaming these across infinite space, and reassembling each into their exact original form, the risk of curious side effects remains ever present. Consequently, Teleport Stream variants have been re-marketed as the quickest way to achieve gender reassignment. 'If a change in life is what you want, take a Teleport Stream and Bob's your aunt' is one of their least subtle advertising campaigns._____

There was a hiss, and the landing party arrived in a pile on the planet's surface. Bless him, their gargantuan guest Zero appeared first from the stream, and thankfully was underneath.

Sennai arrived last to crown the heap. He quickly stood, brushed himself down and surveyed the immediate landscape.

The Proltoid Jockey Monks set aside their three innermost planets for solar brewing. Their fourth was much further from a weakened sun and preserved a thin atmosphere with a complete lack of warmth. It was cold. Very cold.

The air felt crisp and clean, but very, very cold. It nipped the pointed ears, shriveled the tendrils, stiffened the tunics, and made Sennai's orange eyes white, and his blue lips turn red. Not only did it feel cold, but it also tasted, smelled, and vibrated cold. Intense cold. There was no warmth at all to this planet. Small patches of packed snow lay unfreezing on grey ice or ashen rock. Each member of the landing party had equipped for the frozen environment, with Kolidium foil insulated jackets and trousers, hybrid carboplastene boots, and self-warming gloves. All except Zero – whose owner Tzkk had asserted to be a 26th generation robot conceived to withstand all extremes of temperature.

"Crap!" cursed Zero. "It's freezing!"

He shivered, shaking loose core components that internal nanobots scurried to reinstate.

Sennai was poised to remark this was the first sentence he had witnessed the silver megalith complete without a stutter yet was powerless to begin his statement as there was a nuclear detonation very close by.

***

Sennai hurtled backwards through the thin air, taking the full force of the blast like a giant bug flicked from a coat sleeve. His arms and legs trailed his trajectory.

Thud.

He slammed into a collected drift of snow, temporarily stunned. Five six seven seconds.