Hope I Never Lose You

seven

"What happened?" I whispered, terrified. I didn't dare to ask if Travis was okay. What would I do if the answer was no? I'd only just gotten him back. He couldn't be hurt. Please god, no.

"Just...just get here. Okay?" Jason sounded like he was barely holding it together. "I think it's better you get here before we tell you." Fuck, oh fuck. That meant something truly awful had happened. God, no, no, no. 

"O...okay." I swallowed. "Okay. Umm..." I pressed my hand to my forehead, trying to think. "I'll be there in fifteen minutes."

Hanging up, I ran from the room, snatching my car keys off the hook on the way to the door. There wasn't time for me to call security to come with me; they'd take too long. I had to go now. My breathing sped as I fumbled to lock the door, running to the car and quickly driving away. I didn't care if I broke any speed limits, and I definitely did. I got to the hospital just under fifteen minutes later and slowed to a fast walk as I locked my car and headed for the doors.

I saw them immediately. Jason and Donna were sitting in the waiting room, eyes red, obviously shaken. They rose when they saw me, exchanging a look as I approached. Oh god, where was Travis? 

"What's going on?" I was barely holding onto myself, tears looming. "You're scaring me Jason, what's going on?" I begged, twisting my hands together. Donna sobbed, pressing a hand to her mouth as she slumped back into her chair. Jason rested a hand on her shoulder, taking in a deep breath. "Where's Travis?" I whispered, terrified, but needing to know.

"He's..." Jason pressed a hand to his mouth. "He left our place about forty minutes ago. I was following him in my car; we were going out to pick up some takeaways from the same place. He wanted to surprise you. He...he got in an accident." A sob burst from my lips and I pressed a hand to my mouth, tears spilling down my cheeks. "It was..." He swallowed. "It was a teenage girl. Swerved to miss a cat running across the road and went right into him."

"No." I whispered through my fingers, shaking my head. "No." No, not Travis. "Where is he?" Jason looked behind me and I turned to see a pair of double doors staring back at me. "Is he..." I looked back at Jason, unable to say the word.

"We don't know." Was all he could say, and I broke down. Jason pulled me close and hugged me tightly, his shoulders shaking. I clung to him, sobbing.

We stood there for a long time, and eventually, Jason got a call from Kylie. She'd stayed back with the girls with Ed, and Jason went off to talk to her quietly. I slumped into the chair next to Donna who reached out and rested a hand on my arm. Her eyes were just as red as mine probably were, and I just nodded as I rested my other hand on top of hers. We didn't speak; we couldn't. We just waited.

"No, no, just a minute!" The double doors burst open and a young girl came through, arguing with an older man. There was a bandage on her forehead, and bruising around her eyes, which searched the room frantically.

"Becs, you need to sit down!" The older man reached out to her, but her eyes had landed on me and stayed there. I exchanged a look with Donna when the girl started to walk towards us, and she shook her head. She didn't know. The girl stopped in front of me. She looked like she'd been crying.

"I'm so sorry." The words fell from her lips like she was trying not to cry. I blinked at her. "I didn't mean to hit anyone." She was almost hysterical.

"You were driving the other car." I whispered, realizing what she was talking about it. The girl nodded, tears falling down her cheeks.

"It's all my fault. If I hadn't swerved for that stupid cat...and I didn't even see the other car there." She was barely able to speak through her sobs. "I'm so sorry. I'm so sorry. It was all my fault. I did this." She was terrified, scared.

"No." I stood up as she pressed her face into her hands, shoulders shaking. "No." I murmured, pulling her close and hugging her. "We don't blame you." I whispered to her as she cried, and I started to cry again. "It's not your fault. It's okay." As easy as it would be to hate her, I just couldn't. It would be so easy to lay the blame on her to have someone to point the finger at, but I just couldn't.

"I'm so sorry." She continued sobbing.

"It's not your fault." I repeated, my voice shaking. "It's not. It just happened."

The girl - who her older brother introduced as Rebecca when she'd stopped crying - wouldn't stop apologizing but was dragged back off after a few minutes to be seen by her doctor. I watched her go, watched the double doors swing closed behind her, watched as her gaze met mine one last time before she was gone. She'd obviously blamed herself and was terrified that someone's life might be lost.

We were all terrified of that.

Jason came back a few minutes later, face tear-stained. He didn't say anything as he sat down.

And we waited. And waited. And waited.

"Taylor." Someone shook my shoulder and I blinked, lifting my head to realize I'd drifted off in the chair. I looked up to see a doctor coming our way, looking serious. The three of us got up and Donna's hand found mine, squeezing. We were all as terrified as each other.

"Is he..." Jason - like we all were - was unable to speak that word.

"He's alive." The doctor nodded, and I almost fainted in relief. "But we don't know how if his condition will improve. We've done all we can for now, but he needs to stay here for a while we monitor him." God, this didn't feel real. "He has a broken arm and two broken ribs, and we suspect a severe concussion. However..." Oh god, there it was. The however that would ruin me. "He isn't responsive."

"Like a coma?" My voice was raspy, rough. The nod I got in response shattered my heart.

"He's stable for now, but we need to heavily monitor his brainwaves and any responsiveness to determine our next course of action."

"Course of action." Donna whispered. We all knew what that meant, but we pretended not to. I couldn't even stand to think about that. Not now, not ever.

"Can we see him?" Jason asked.

"Maybe just one or two people at a time." The doctor said, and we all exchanged a look.

"You two go, I need to make some calls." I knew I didn't have a place to go and see him first. I might be his wife, but his family needed him the most right now. I could understand that. "I'll see him soon." They just nodded but didn't move. "You go. I'll be alright."

Donna hugged me tightly and Jason squeezed my shoulder before they left with the doctor, leaving me alone. I watched them go and then wiped the back of my hands across my cheeks, trying to get rid of my tears. I sat back down, letting my eyes slip closed. I just breathed, trying to stay calm even as my heart broke in my chest. God, what the hell would I do without Travis? In the one day I thought I'd lost him forever, it had been the most awful thing in the world. And this, this was so much worse.

I'd never loved anyone a fraction of the amount that I loved Travis Kelce. He'd quite literally swept me off my feet when I'd been convinced that I'd never find anyone that truly loved me. He'd shown me what the world was like when you had someone that loved you unconditionally. He'd loved me at my best and my worst and everything in-between. And I loved him so, so, so much that it physically hurt. But what hurt worse was the thought that I might never see him smile at me again, never feel him kiss me again, never hear him laugh again or call me baby again. 

Forever and always my precious girl. I'll love you for every single second my heart's still beating, and every single second afterwards.

I sobbed harder into my hands as his wedding vows echoed in my ears. How could I even stand to think about life without him? I'd been a broken mess when I'd thought there was even a possibility that we might break up, but this, this was a million times worse. I couldn't live without him, of course I couldn't.