𝐂𝐈𝐍𝐍𝐀𝐌𝐎𝐍 𝐒𝐈𝐗𝐓𝐈𝐄𝐒

𝟗. 𝐓𝐡𝐞 𝐖𝐨𝐫𝐥𝐝 𝐈𝐬 𝐁𝐚𝐝

𝐀𝐩𝐫𝐢𝐥 𝟏𝟎𝐭𝐡 𝟏𝟗𝟓𝟗

It was exactly after midnight, martie had been practically crying all night , her mothers letter was too much for her to handle , and so she folded it and placed it carefully back into the envelope, putting it in a box beneath her bed .

She sobbed , and sobbed , and sobbed . And there she was in the dark , her legs close to her chest , pouring silent tears into her hands .

"Martie.." a familiar voice called from the window , what on earth . She got out of bed and made her way to the window , looking down , Howie .

What was he doing at this time of night? She furrowed her eyebrows before she wrapped herself in her dressing gown , silently walking out of her bedroom and delicately and carefully walking down the stairs , trying desperately not to awaken anyone , she opened the front door .

She tilted her head as if to tell him to come in , and so he did , they walked up the stairs , again carefully and delicately, and into her room , she sat down and he sat next to her ,on the white sheets of her bed.

"Whats the matter?" Martie tilted her head and cocked her eyebrow , staying quiet .

And for the first time Martie hadn't a clue what was happening , Howie broke into instant tears , and this was odd , because she didn't think she'd ever seen Howie cry , only one time , when they when were both eleven and Howie tripped and grazed his knee on the way home from school . This was unusual.

Martie placed a hand on his back and rubbed it softly as he cried into the palms of his hands, "shh." She comforted him , "whats wrong?" She whispered.

He looked at , considered weather to tell her , shaking his head he wiped his tears .

"You'll think I'm plain mad ." He said quietly in his dearly posh accent .

"Nothing can be mad if theres some reason behind it." She whispered reassuringly , honestly curious now .

"Martie ..do you think there's something wrong with me?"  He said shaking his head .

"No of course not.." she whispered back .

"Martie. I don't think i fancy girls ." He said extra quietly this time , his voice hitched as he admitted something to not only her but himself .

"Oh thats quite alright , like i said on the train .. you have plenty  of time to start dating ladies theres no need to get worked up about it!" She said , and she didn't quite seem to get his end of the stick because he practically sank .

"Martie. I don't think I'll ever fancy girls." He said shutting his eyes tightly as he said it , he didn't want to loose the only friend he ever had , and by admitting this he felt like he might just .

Marties face stirred , trying to comprehend, "oh but Howie , loves a beautiful thing , I'm sure some day you'll find yourself a great girlfriend!"

"Martie ! I think im .. whats it .. homophile." He quivered looking at his lap , his eyes filled with glisten.

Marties face dropped completely, in the 50s the term 'homophile' meant love for the same gender , and that was something completely rare to Martie , because no one , very few people admitted that in the 50s , if they did , they'd be locked up .  Martie always hated that , but she never had a reason to actually acknowledge it , now she had to because that was what he best friend was .

As he sat there sobbing she had nothing other to do than to hug  him , closely , making sure to squeeze him in all the right , comforting places . She couldn't imagine the stress he had to go through , and the bravery he had to admit it .

"Your so brave howie." She whispered into his ear as she hugged him .

And they sat and hugged , they just simply hugged , though not many people were there for him , martie was certain on one thing , she'd be there for him till the day he died .
She knew the world was bad , and all she wanted was for him to be safe , and appreciated .

"Would you like to sleep over ?" She asked him as she patted his damp cheeks .

★

Martie sat on the bus , next to George. Howie didn't feel like coming to school and his parents let him stay off because they were rich enough not to care .

Paul had found a new friend called Joseph , he seemed popular and knew a lot of ladies so obviously Paul was the arsehole to replace George's normal seat with 'joey' as he referred to him.

"I dunno whats got into him george ." Martie shook her head . "Im sure he'll take you back once Joseph's bored of him." She smiled at him reassuringly .

"S'alright Martie seriously." He said smiling , and he felt the sudden urge to explain himself "er , mabels sick, so.." he nodded , wanting her to understand that he wasn't choosing her over his girlfriend.

"Oh i see." Martie nodded fiddling with the hem of her skirt that rested below her knee .

"So dya get anything alright from yer dad?" He said changing the subject.

"Yeah.." she nodded before glancing out the window .

Did i say something? Did i bore her or something? Did i mention Mabel, yes ..

"So av ya got a boyfriend or anything?" George asked trying to find her intrest again.

She turned around , swallowing , "erm , no i don't." She said rubbing her knee with her thumb nervously.

"Ah i see.." he said turning and looking around . The silence grew louder and george couldn't help it any longer .

"Cmon mart  . Tell me whats up. Why are ya so quiet?" He asked her and her face shifted .

"Im quite alright George ." She furrowed her eyebrows.

"Okay then.." he said looking around the bus again .

Martie realised that in that moment, she wanted nothing more than this exact scene to play out ...

"Oh martie , me and Mabel broke up." George said

"why?" Martie asked intrigued

"Because i love you . I love you and I realised I cant lead a life of lies with mable."

"Oh i love you too george!"

They start making out on the bus , and the sky above them becomes a sky of hot orange and pink , swallowing them as glistening stars shot through there heads , running rivers down there backs and arms .

"Miss Mccartney?" Asked bill the bus driver who was hovering over her seat .

"Are you getting off the bus or not ?" He asked angrily , and as martie looked around the empty bus she realised she had been day dreaming for far too long .

"Im sorry mr grey." She said putting her satchel over her shoulder .

Maybe in another universe...