Screw The Pucker

Tyler

The next day at practice, I was on the ice with Jake, and I was on defense. Jake and I played the center and the wing in practice, and every chance we got as we played, we talked about Sarah, Jake, and man. I just don’t understand why she refuses to go out with me. I mean, she doesn’t even know who I am. Tyler, are you positive she doesn’t know who you are? I don’t think so unless she has figured it out by now, which is unlikely, Bro. I did get her number, but I haven’t texted her yet. Why? Well, I just didn’t want to seem stalkerish. I thought to myself, Maybe I should text her something simple, but I didn’t say that to Jake because he would have said some crazy shit about it, and I just didn’t want him to wallow in it. So two hours later, when Coach Jenkins ended practice, as I was in the locker room packing my things in my bag, I pulled out my phone and texted her.

 

Sarah,

I wasn’t sure how to write this without seeming like a psychopath. 

But while I was practicing, I was just thinking about you. It seems to be true that the moment I met you, I got better at my job. I hope this wasn’t too straightforward, but I really do like you, and even if you just want casual, I’ll be ok with that for now. I hope to hear from you soon. Yours truly.

Tyler.

A few minutes later, I got a reply, which, honestly, I wasn’t expecting, but I was more excited than I had been. 

 

Tyler, why so much secrecy about your job? 

Sarah.

 

I was kind of confused by her reply. Did she know who I was now? And how did she know? I needed to ascertain whether she was aware that perhaps this was the reason she only desired casual attire.

 

Well, can you please elaborate? I’m not sure I understand what your 

Referring to, 

Tyler

And just then, her responses came more frequently than the last. It was almost like she was enjoying this little ordeal, so maybe I just played along.

 

Perhaps my sexual desires are no longer a secret.

That won’t stop you from going on a date with

Me, 

Tyler

 

I couldn’t have thought of a better response than the one I sent.

 

What sexual desires do you have that would entice me? 

When do you have a little Dick? 

Sarah

 

I had to re-read that message more than once when it came in. I don’t know what 

Her end game was, but this girl has no idea what she’s getting into. 

But I don’t mind showing her.

 

Well, I most definitely don’t have a small penis, and I'd be more than glad to show you if you’d like. 

Tyler

 

And just as I thought there had been no reply for over an hour, I drove myself insane, believing I had scared this gorgeous woman away, and then it happened.