Miss Americana and The Hearbreak Princess

Chapter Sixteen - Speak Now

Speak Now was released on October 25th, 2010. It sold over a million copies in its first week. It debuted at number one of the Billboard 200 chart and received generally positive reviews from music critics. 

There were congratulations all around, and sighs of relief at Chen Records, everyone smiling with happiness at the success, and Chen a little more insufferably condescending than usual as he plainly attributed its success to the fact that they'd spun the album as being centred mostly around boys. 

Of course, Becca knew that in reality they were for Freen, and knew that no matter how other people interpreted it, the album was successful because she'd written those songs about Freen. 

Not anyone else.

But she let everyone make their assumptions, and she had her fun with them decoding the secret messages hidden in the lyrics, slipping in false leads and names that meant nothing, while she purposely misled people with her lyrics, writing about heartbreaks six months ago and brown eyes. 

Despite her fun, the lyrics were still painful though, each word holding an echo of memory with Freen. 

It hurt even more when a bouquet of blue hydrangeas turned up on her doorstep with a congratulation note off of Freen. 

She knew they were one of Becca's flowers, and there was no bitterness or resentment in the note about the songs that she'd written about Freen.

As well as her album sold, in some ways, it felt like a hollow victory. Her career was doing better than ever - arguably better than anyone else in the industry - and she was all alone. 

In the morning, she woke up and ate Cinnamon Toast Crunch alone, she baked a cheesecake for herself and read To Kill A Mockingbird four times over the following weeks, while praises flooded in and everyone applauded her songwriting and candour. 

Becca went to endless parties, found herself surrounded by people clamouring for her attention, paparazzi hounding her whenever she was out in public, but it all felt distant like she was removed from it all. 

It was like she was in her own bubble of isolation, and it left her feeling cold inside.

She should've been overjoyed, and she was, in a sense, with something she'd worked so hard for coming to fruition, a world tour on its way, and the world at her feet, but there was a hole.

She filled her time with preparing for her tour though, rehearsing choreography, finalising costume adjustments and choices, giving her approval on stage props. It was almost like one giant fairytale, with sparkly dresses and curving staircases and floating balconies.

The only thing missing was a princess and some true love. Becca was severely lacking in that at the time being, and it still hurt.

December arrived quickly, and Becca took a break from tour planning to go to London.

She hadn't heard from Freen, aside from the flowers, but they were in the same city, and she found herself thinking about her more often than she would've liked. 

It bothered Becca to be so caught up on her, after months. Surely she should've been moving on by now. Yet there was a piece of her that didn't want to, no matter how hard she tried, and just before her birthday, she decided to put some distance between them.

London was bitter cold and grey, the streets filled with rumbling traffic and the city sparkling with Christmas lights, alive with last minute shopping and tourists clogging popular sights. 

She got a car to her mother's new townhouse and felt the tension bleed out of her as she was out from under the magnifying glass of fame. Things were more reserved in London, and unless she was attending an event, it was easier for her to evade the cameras.