The Pointless Book

Extract From A Book I'll Never Write #16

"I'm literally the priest's favourite sacrificial lamb"

I am so docile and sweet and I hold very still when they put the rope around my neck. I trot along so happily while they lead me to the alter. They don't even bother to tie me down because I lie so very still and only bleat once or twice when the knife comes down. It cuts through me like butter and I bleed so easily. My eyes are animal and dumb and hold no accusations. Every time I die I come right back as another little lamb because the priest loves me so so much and he always chooses me for the sacrifice. Every time. He doesn't do it for the other lambs only me because I'm his favourite,