In Between Stars

Chapter Twenty-Six: Side B

I almost teared up at the sight of Summer's Honda Acty as soon as I passed exited the airport's gate. Madali ko 'yon nakita dahil bukod sa stand out ang kulay nitong lime green ay ito lang ang bukod tanging truck sa mga sasakyan sa paligid. It had been five months since I saw that truck.

"Nasa labas ka na ba?" Summer asked on the phone. That was when I next found her standing a few steps away from her truck.

She still looked exactly like when I last saw her. Pati haircut niya ay medium length pa rin. She was wearing a simple graphic tee, boyfriend jeans, and her favorite dirty vans that looked like it had gone through difficult times.

"Mer!" parang bata na sigaw ko at hila-hila ang maleta kong tumakbo palapit sa direksyon niya. It made her easy for her to find me among the crowd.

Nang makalapit ako sa kanya ay hindi ako nagdalawang isip na yakapin siya kahit na alam kong hindi siya mahilig sa physical affection. She must have missed me so much because she allowed me to hug her. Or wala lang siguro siyang choice dahil nakakulong ang mga braso niya at mahigpit ang yakap ko sa kanya.

"Grabe. Nakaka-miss ka rin pala," mapang-asar kong sabi habang nakayakap sa kanya.

Ngumiwi siya. "Bayaran mo yung toll fee at gas ko."

"Lupit mo naman. Sa unemployed ka pa talaga naningil?"

"Sino ba sinundo ko?"

"Hindi mo ba ako love? Bumalik nga ako ng Manila para sa'yo." I pouted.

"Tara na. Nagugutom na ako." Umirap si Summer at tinalikuran na ako.

Ngumiti na lang ako at hinila ang maleta ko para mailagay na sa likod ng truck niya. I pushed the button to unlock the retractable bed cover and slid it open. Hindi man lang ako tinulungan ni Summer buhatin ang maleta ko pero hindi na ako nagreklamo sa kanya. Baka paglakarin ako mula NAIA papuntang apartment niya kapag tinopak.

This felt like a repeat of many months ago, when I came back to Manila again for the first time after leaving for Cebu. Full of hope and excitement for what lies ahead.

But this time, I feel like the world became much bigger and had a lot more to offer for me. I didn't realize that something was still holding me back then. Until now. Ngayon ay ramdam na ramdam ko ang pagkakaiba.

Before, my mantra was just to say lowkey and open a dance studio. Now, I feel like there's something more that lies in the horizon and I just didn't know it yet.

It took a lot to convince my mom to allow me to go back to Manila. Natural lang naman na mag-aalala siya sa akin dahil sa kamuntikan kong pag-relapse. Though I think it was also the reason why she allowed me.

She didn't say it but I could tell that she didn't want to treat me like I was fragile. She didn't want me to feel that way. Kahit na alam ko na kung siya ang papapiliin ay mas gugustuhin niya na manatili na lang ako sa tabi niya.

Her only two conditions were simple. Give her daily updates and accept financial help from her. Syempre nung una ayaw kong tanggapin 'yon dahil hindi ko pa nga natatapos bayaran ang loan ko sa kanya last time, pero hindi na rin ako tumanggi.

May pera pa naman ako pero hindi ko rin naman masasabi kung magagawa ko agad ang mga plano ko. It might take me longer to settle down again.

I couldn't go back to my old apartment anymore because I'm sure that place is most likely occupied since it had already been three months. Thankfully, Summer's sister moved in with her boyfriend, kaya pwede akong makitira sa kanila. I promised to pitch in the utility bills and grocery. Mabuti na rin para sa akin dahil yung mga gamit kong naiwan last time ay nasa bahay rin naman nila Summer. Pati ang pinkamamahal kong scooter. Hindi na ako mahihirapan maglipat ng mga gamit at maghanap ng ibang apartment.