Emotional Detachment

King of mind and heart?

After the last session, Kim wrote in the notebook again and needed to grab the others asap. He needed his escape. He needed to know he was safe. He tried to avoid thinking about Porchay, but then he'd think about his brothers and his issues. He had no escape!

He was drowning, deeper and deeper he fell, unable to breathe. He reread the files in his apartment, hoping it would help him forget everything. Then he re-organized them, putting them into piles of the main family, minor family, who has been there the longest, who they are loyal to, everyone's relations, seeing how they all connect.

Maybe he should have Big help him update them.

Could Big pull that off though? Would he be able to do that considering his current condition?

A few days passed, and though the bruises were fading, it wasn't much, but Big didn't wear the turtleneck to hide them.

Mainly because he didn't care or forgot about them, his insomnia was still an obstacle.

What did it even matter?

Everyone already knew how messed up he was, and that Kim had done it before.

Big had awoken to the sound of his phone, a call from Kinn requesting he meet him at his office, so he threw on his dress shirt and blazer in a hurry, put his hair up in his usual wolf-tail, and left for the office.

"Master Kinn, it's Big" he announced after knocking on the door. The look on the bodyguards' faces as the door opened up, let Big know they saw the bruises.

They didn't say anything as Big walked inside, and to no surprise, Porsche was by Kinn's side "Master Kinn, Master Porsche" he greeted with a small bow.

"What can I do for you?"

"If my brother is not busy today, could you tell him we want to see him here"

"Of course sir, what is it about if I may ask?"

"We'll tell him when he gets here"

Weird, but okay, Big thought but didn't press on.

"Very well, sir, then I'll take my leave for now" he bid, leaving the office.

When Big arrived at the apartment, Kim wasn't there, at least he couldn't spot him at his usual places as he glanced around.

"Master Kim?" he called out. The couch, and balcony were both deserted, the only traces being old mugs on the coffee table. "Sir?" he called out again.

The dinner table was covered in files organized into different groups, but still no Kim.

Walking closer to the dining table, curious about the files, he spotted it.

The notebook.

The notebook that Kim had been grasping as if his life depended on it.

The one he's been writing non-stop for weeks.

He knew he shouldn't look, but he couldn't help but wonder what Kim was always thinking about, what was happening inside him.

Who did Kim have to lean on after all?

Only himself and Dr. Park.

He should have someone else to lean on. He should have Big too. Holding his breath for a moment, he glanced around, listening for any sounds.

Then he picked up the notebook and opened it, landing on a random page.

Words I killed

Know I'm miserable