86/Freedom At It's Finest

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Sararose Blue POV

You know what they say, optimism is contagious, but tell me that when I've been married to Sean Blue since I was nineteen.

Now I just sleep alone while he's on the other side of the United States, walking with his cane, determined to find Scott Blue somewhere on that side of the world. 

Make it make sense! I hate being the only logical one in our relationship, and I hate to think of how his optimism will die because there's no way Scott could possibly be in California. I was too stubborn to leave with everyone. I had good reasons though. It wasn't fair that the horrible horrible Officer Smith gets to make the decisions all of a sudden. What real evidence is there that Scott Blue is in California? There wasn't any, so there would be no logical point in going.

It would also be unwise for me to leave home when I had to worry about going to the doctors for my cancer treatment. 

The days were just going by, and I felt like everything was just so dark and depressing.....

That was until March 4th. I was waiting in the stiff wooden chair at the doctor's office room, reading a good book when the nurse slowly peaks through the door. The words that she has spoken completely took the world and stopped it. "You're free." She said.

That evening during the sunset, I pull the garbage cans out to the end of the driveway, wearing my slippers and nightgown. The man who lived across the street is watching me throughout the window in complete bewilderment. "I'm free!" I shout to him as I dump my pills out in the garbage can.

"I'm free!" I yell to the sky as the rain begins to fall down. "I'm free like the birds, and the wind, and the butterflies!"

With my arms in the air and jumping in rain puddles, I felt like a new person. I felt like I could fly. I don't believe I was ever even this happy in my life, and my girlhood was just nothing but a black and white framed picture, and even when I was young and innocent, I wasn't very happy. I had to get cancer to be cured from cancer to actually be happy.

"I thought you'd be depressed forever." Valentina tells me the next week when I start breaking the news. I was at her house for dinner. Both of us had our husband's and daughter's away, so now we only have eachother.

"Depressed forever?" I laugh at her. "Goodness no! What kind of woman do you think I am?"

"But, Sararose, you were always cranky, ever since I met you at your wedding!"

"Valentina, you were a teenager back then. What did you know?" I ask her. Getting married in 1938 was all I needed to tell someone for them to know that I rushed things. I quickly became a housewife afterwards, even during the long period of time between marriage, and Leo getting born.

"Because you rushed to get married.
No wonder you were always so cranky." She says, "The first time I met you, I was fifteen, and you were wearing your long white Turtle neck gown arguing with this middle aged guy because you were trying to say that the earth was flat."

"I was different then! You were also way out of your mind." I tell her sternly. "Who were you and Easten, being romantically involved with eachother at fifteen? When I was fifteen, I was still complaining about dinner."

"Well not anymore! You had full control over the kitchen when Sean married you."

"Yeah. He wanted his 50s housewife." I sighed as I watch Valentina take the mashed potatoes out of the oven, with her large oven mits.

"Sararose, I'm so glad that you beat cancer." She says sympathetically. "I know that I used to be so mean to you, but you were a cool housewife because you were so put together and you had this tough love pattern with your children, and you didn't let anything get out of hand, and ugh! You were the woman that I wanted to be. Even was I was fifteen and wrongfully invited to your wedding, I saw you and thought, that's who I want to be, and I'm marrying her husband's brother to be closer to her! I want to be like Sararose!"

For some reason, I could definitely see how that would make her act so mean to me.

"And I am very sorry that I was mean to you too." I admit to her, "I was certain that you hated me."

"It's not that I hate you, Sararose, it's that I love you!"

For Valentina, I was always Sararose. I wasn't Rosie. Not to her. She sees me exactly for what I am. I could've been re named anything in the world, and she'll keep calling me Sararose from the day we met, untill the day I die, because Valentina saw me for what she wanted to be and stuck with it. She never tried to change herself either, I soppose she just wanted to improve herself.

I was able to see that she tried to copy me all those years. I married into a Blue, she married into a Blue. I cooked, so she cooked. I read, so she read. I had a child, so she went on to have a child. I had another child, but she didn't so she could brag about how she had more money than I did.

"I love you too, Valentina." I tell her.

Her lips form the most genuine smile, but she stops when I tell her, "I wasn't that great when I was young. I was not pretty, or outgoing, or friendly, you know Easten would call me a control freak. You know he was right. But you, Valentina, you were pretty, and outgoing, and friendly.... to some extent. Didn't people like you enough for that? Not that it was right, but didn't guys like you enough for that?"

"Yeah." She says simply, "But I really wanted to be smart, and be on top of things."

This made me smile so much, that I probably gained a few wrinkles. Valentina didn't have nearly as many wrinkles as me, her skin was still clear and soft, and so was her hair that was at a white ish blond color.

"Do you know what Sean will say when he comes home?" She asks.

"What's that?"

"He'll say, You survived cancer, I told you so!"

I miss Sean so much already. He was the optimist who said that I'll survive cancer. He never gave up hope, and he's going to be so happy, and so proud of me when he comes home, no matter how long it takes him. That man believes that he could do anything, and maybe... just maybe... he's right. Maybe him, Easten, Lesley, and Marcela will find Scott, maybe Sean will be able to walk again.

God, I can't wait for him to come home!

Ring Ring Ring! Ring Ring Ring! Goes the phone.

Valentina rushes to get it. "Hello?"

I get up behind her so I can hear it to.

It was Royal's voice, I'm pretty sure.

"It's Henry." He says.

Author's note: You guys don't get to know what happens to Henry just yet, so stay tuned!



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