How to Survive Your 19th Life [BL]

Chapter 42: Double Take

For movie night, Emiel prepared snacks in utter silence. This was different that my memories of this night. Though he'd always been hyper focused when he was cooking, this silence left the room feeling empty. He prepared stuffed mushrooms and a pan of lasagna. 

A sense of relief flooded me at this change. If I could see the future, then this would have been tortilla chips and fried green tomatoes. 

"Thank you for all of this effort you're putting in," I told Emiel as I sat on the couch, waiting for Malai and Tariq to show up. "I'm really grateful."

Emiel, now cleaning up while waiting for the lasagna to be done, paused to look at me. A shimmer of irritation glazed his face. "Are you?"

I sat up straight. "What do you mean?"

He shrugged and went back to cleaning. 

Standing up, I said, "If you have something to say, then say it Em."

"Why would I have anything to say?" he asked, not looking at me. "You clearly don't have anything to say to me."

"Don't pull that passive aggressive bullshit." I was angry now. We argued like this in my future-dream, and I was still sick of it. My hands clenched and unclenched at my sides. It was the only way to ground myself. 

Emiel turned around finally. This far away from him, his few inches height difference meant nothing. "What's bullshit is you ditching me last night to talk on the phone for hours with your ex-boyfriend..."

A laugh popped from my throat before I could catch it. The ridiculousness of it all. 

"Don't fucking laugh at me," Emiel shouted.

That laughter sucked back into my chest, and if not for the couch, I would have backed up. "What is this? Are you trying to abuse me or something?"

Shock flashed in his eyes. He actually backed up. "Abuse you? What the fuck Solomon?! Of course not!"

"I mean," I started, still thinking, "how did you know I talked to Henri last night?"

"I looked through your phone when you were in the bathroom." He said this with such nonchalance, I was almost unoffended.

"Why did you do that?"

He sighed. Those hazel eyes looked away from me, searching. There was no shame in his expression, just an air of mystery. It seemed as though a million years passed between us before he finally uttered, "Trust comes hard for me."

"So you don't trust me? Even though we love each other?"

This time Emiel laughed. He threw his head back and laughed as though I were the most incredible comedian in the world. 

A knock came from the door. Still laughing, Emiel answered it. I walked over to the kitchen.

Malai and Tariq arrived with spinach dip and booze in hand. Emiel greeted them with semi-awkward hugs.

"We are watching Cobra," I told Tariq as he gave me half-hug in greeting. 

"You just read my mind," Tariq said, placing the food on the counter. "You guys don't have any chips? We brought dip."

I dizzied at my memories. Malai came up to me and gave me a firm hug. I held onto her probably for longer than I should have, but she was such an overwhelmingly comforting presence. When we finally separated, I found Emiel staring. 

"Jealous?" Malai teased him.

"Should I be?" Emiel said back. His tone was somewhere between teasing and serious.

"I'm not like you Em," I said, leaning against the counter. It was a bit irritating that he was jealous over Malai. 

"What's that supposed to mean?"

Feeling a bit mean, I murmured, "I don't get passed around." I remembered Sylvia and Emiel fucking right in that very living room. He had some nerve.

"Whoa okay, let's all chill out for a second," Malai said, coughing away a laugh. Tariq covered his mouth to hide his amusement.

"Get out," Emiel snapped. His eyes were enraged and confused. I hurt his feelings. Guilt soured in my stomach.

This time it wasn't like my dream. No mention of Jason. We fought, but it was in front of others. And when he kicked Malai and Tariq out, he kicked me out too. Emiel threw my coat and backpack on the hallway floor and slammed the door behind us.

"Well, let's get some chips," Malai said holding up her dip. She made sure to swipe it before being kicked out. I tried to give her a smile but couldn't muster up the courage to smile.