How to Survive Your 19th Life [BL]

Chapter 90: Red's End

"I love you," I told Emiel when I looped back again. I took a moment to breathe, remembering the fall and the crack of pain before death's embrace. There was also excitement as I had successfully killed myself before suffering Sylvia's horrible fate. Professor Groves told me to beat Emiel to it, and he would now have no idea that it worked.

"You love me?" Emiel asked, tears falling from his eyes. He wiped his eyes quickly and looked at the tears on his hands. I grabbed on of his hands and kissed it, tasting the saltiness of him. 

Did this happen before? I couldn't tell. Emiel was always so dramatic.

"That's all I wanted to say for tonight," I told him, same as my previous life, and the one before that. Yet again, I needed space to record my thoughts and add to the poem Professor Groves gave me to remember where I was in time, and how many loops I went through.

I left Emiel standing there, probably watching me as he always did. At least Sylvia wasn't stalking me anymore. 

This life, I didn't go straight to Professor Grove's office. Instead, I waited a few days to gain a sense of normalcy again. I wrote more lines to my Death Poem. 

"I took the reins at thirteen, and realized I needed to scheme.
Fourteen's when he stole Sylvia's last breath, so I killed myself.
Now I'm on fifteen."

I looked over the poem. I died fifteen times. I'd only been productive my last two lives, so I didn't feel too terrible about it. Thinking back on my other lives, I was mostly flailing around. 

Sylvia provided me with a decent amount of insight on Emiel. I didn't feel the need to go after his other friends. Jason and Sylvia were enough. I had to move deeper and I knew just who to go to.

I waited patiently for the following weekend before hitting up Emiel. I could tell how antsy he was by how many times I spotted him watching me around campus. Of course I couldn't leave him waiting too long, so I showed up to his apartment on a Saturday night, wearing jeans that made my thighs look extra muscular and a simple black T-shirt. I didn't have any cool clothes of my own. 

When Emiel opened the door, I kissed him immediately. It was so easy in the early days to get him to melt in my arms and in my mouth. His soft warm tongue met mine and I moaned. Despite all the murders, Emiel was addictively erotic. Somehow I could get hacked to pieces and still get an erection when he touched me. 

As soon as he tried to undo my pants, I stopped him. 

"I don't want our first time to be here," I told him. "Not my place either. Finn gives me the creeps." One good thing about the life resets was that Emiel didn't know I knew all of his little secrets. 

"What did you have in mind?" he said against my mouth with a smile. 

"I want to be cool for once, you know? Fuck in a club or something."

Emiel laughed and pulled me down on the couch. I fell on top of him, and found myself laughing too. We kissed again, this time his hands were grabbing my ass, pushing my crotch into his. I moaned and let him rub us together there for a second. Then I pulled my hips back.

"You fucked so many people here," I said, growing serious. I wanted nothing more than to keep going, but I couldn't. Sex could convince Emiel more than anything else, I realized. Unfortunately for me, it was a weakness on my end as well. 

He sighed. With the mood a bit ruined, he said, "Just for the first time?"

I nodded. "After that, I want to consecrate this apartment very thoroughly. But I need my first experience with you to be somewhere... different."

"I know a place... a club. We can go there, but we can't stay long. I, uh, know  the owner."

"Where?" I asked, feigning ignorance.

"It's called Red's End."

I jumped up from him and beamed my best smile. Emiel caved as I knew he would and got up too. We went through his wardrobe since I was dressed to plainly to be allowed inside. 

Emiel dressed me in an apricot-colored silk shirt with a long V-neck and ruffle flair, black slacks, and a couple of silver chain necklaces to accentuate my chest. He wore a black turtle-neck half-shirt with elbow length gloves, and gray oversized cargo pants. Emiel looked spectacular in anything, especially when he paired the look with glittery red eyeliner on his bottom lid. 

I hugged him from behind. It was all I could do to keep myself from tearing his clothes off. 

"You're a sex god," I murmured.

"Worship me then."