Glass Heart

chapter 1

before starting the story, please be aware that there may be some triggering scenes. this is a trigger warning.

trigger warnings include: self harm, addiction, eating disorders, suicide, smoking

Loud. Everything's loud. Too loud. The voices. The music. The whispers. The laughs. Too much noise that it's too overwhelming.

I take a deep breath, but the 30 minute bathroom break did nothing for me. The surrounding chaos is still crazy. As I walk down the stairs from the bathroom, I pass a guy throwing up into a plant. 

I make a face, disgusted.

I try to walk calmly, but it's hard, with every noise sounding louder than before.

I finally spot my friends and manage to walk up to them without tripping.

"Summer! Are you feeling better?" My best friend, Mei, hugs me with her free hand. Meanwhile, her left hand is holding a beer can.

"Um, yeah," I force myself to smile. Everyone around me seems like they're talking so fast that I can't keep up. I feel dizzy and lightheaded from the glasses of beer I chugged down earlier. The commotion of the party doesn't help my headache either. I need to get out of here.

"You better feel better because we're going to play truth or dare," my other friend, Gracie, drunkenly giggles into my face.

"Yeah, uh, I think I'm gonna have to pass," I force myself to laugh back. I need to pretend I'm okay.

"Come on, you have to," Gracie snorts, "It'll be fun." She grabs my arm and smiles at me. I stare at her.

"Yeah, no thanks." I free my arm from her grip. She makes a face and walks away towards The Friend Group.

"Are you sure you don't want to play?" Mei pouts at me. I just stare at her. We can communicate without words. That's how close we are, I suppose. Close enough to communicate without words, but not close enough to know how I truly feel. 

Mei gives me a sad smile and then walks off towards The Friend Group. She sits down on the couch with Gracie and a few other people from The Friend Group. Gracie hands Mei a Tequila bottle. Mei unscrews the cap and starts chugging from the bottle.

I roll my eyes and make my way upstairs again. The staircase is narrow and it's crowded with drunk teenagers who want to hook up. I climb over a couple that's making out intensely.

Once I get upstairs, I turn left to go to the library. I've been to this house before for a party last year, and I stayed in the library most of the time. It was my escape from reality.

I open the door to the library and step in. It's quiet. No noise from downstairs or outside. Just a comfortable silence. It probably has sound-proof walls, as this house is massive. 

I sigh and walk to the bookshelves and examine the books. I find the book I read last year in the same spot where I left it. Another thing I notice is two brand new beer cans sitting on the coffee table. I grab one and open it.

It makes a satisfying pop.

I start chugging down half of it before someone interrupts me.

"Excuse me?" I hear someone say from behind me. I jump and turn around. There's a guy my age standing in the middle of the library. 

I've never seen him before. Actually, maybe I have but I don't pay attention.

He has curly dark, brown hair and blue eyes. He's tall. Like really tall, which is unusual because I'm a pretty tall person myself.

"What?" I snap. I'm not in the mood for people right now. I just want to be alone.

Before I know what's happening, he grabs the beer from my hand and throws it in the trash can. Some of the liquid spills out on the carpet.

"What the fuck?" I try to slap him, but instead, I slap the air. Everythings dizzy and slow. He doesn't laugh at me, like a normal person would. Instead, he grabs my arms and leads me to the couch. He sets me down and tells me not to move. I obey because I'm too tired and dizzy to move.

He leaves the library and a few minutes later, comes back with a cup of water. He doesn't say a word and hands it to me.

I drink it all and set the empty cup on the coffee table. I can still feel his blue eyes on me.

Finally, he speaks. "Are you okay?" He asks. His voice is calm and comforting, which is weird. I don't even know him. I nod. "Why were you drinking?"

"Why not? I'm at a fucking party, aren't I?" I snap again. My eyes are starting to close and everything is getting even more blurry.

"Yeah, but you were chugging down beer, not shotgunning it or anything," he says, in a concerned voice.

"So? I'm drunk, okay? That's it." I fold my arms across my chest and glare at him.

He doesn't speak for a few seconds.

"Did you come here alone?"

"No. I came here with some friends," I say, closing my eyes. I want to fall asleep. I want him to leave me alone.

"Are they here?"

"Why do you care?" I open my eyes again and glare at him.

He pauses. "Look, I know we don't know each other, but I'm not going to leave you here."

"What? Why not?" I ask, genuinely confused.

"Because if something bad happens to you, and I wasn't there, it'll be my fault," he grumbles.

"I'm not a child," I growl.

"I never said you were. Now, where are your friends?"

"I don't know."

"Can you describe them to me?" He has a tiny smile on his face.

"Um," I sigh, "Mei. She has, um, brown hair. Pink highlights. Uh..." I can't remember. "Um..." I feel my throat tightening. I feel the walls closing in on me. I can suddenly hear the voices outside the room. The talking. The whispering. The music. The shouting. Everything.

My breathing quickens.

My hands shake.

Everything goes black.