Rikunai: Genesis

Chapter Eighteen: Failure

Tiomoyo's eyes slowly cracked apart as he took a single, deep, moist breath. As he released his breath, he felt the uncomfortable tug of an IV tube inserted into his right elbow. He craned his neck over to the right to see the almost completely dark hospital room he was in.

Oh...Right.

Tiomoyo sighed as he looked at the few rays of light coming from his window. The sun was beginning to rise. He glanced over to the digital clock on the wall showing that it was the day after the fight. The realization of the events during the brawl swept over Tiomoyo like a tsunami.

I lost.

Tiomoyo felt numb. He tried so hard, and yet... No matter what he did, he couldn't overcome Kiki. He was too tired to even feel sad, or angry, or anything, really. Maybe once he awoke further his emotions would decide to overtake him. He suddenly heard a shallow and quick push of air from the darkness. He saw the faint silhouette of a girl slouched over in a chair, sleeping. A ray of sunshine peaked over the blinds and revealed Sasame's light blue hair wrapped around her neck in her half-undone ponytail.

Sasame?

A small, quiet, faint yawn escaped her lips as she tilted her head to the sunlight. Her eyes gently pushed away her sleep as she entered the realm of wakefulness. Tiomoyo blankly stared as he slouched over. Sasame's posture dropped as she saw the dead look in his eyes. She went to say "good morning" but this morning wasn't pleasant in the slightest. She stood up and walked over to him, resting herself gently on the edge of the bed. Tiomoyo's eyes dropped to his hand as he saw Sasame gently glide her fingers over his and hold them. Her touch was close, but he couldn't tell if it was truly reassuring.

"Hey," Sasame whispered as another ray of sunlight washed over them. She looked ethereal, like a guardian angel. Tiomoyo was of firm belief she could pass as an angel.

Tiomoyo felt the slow brushes of her hand caress his own as he felt the wave of emotions he had predicted.

"Fuck..." Tiomoyo's gravely, almost grief-stricken voice quivered.

Sasame's gaze softened as she saw her friend at his most vulnerable. "I'm so, so, so sorry, Tiomoyo. You did good, okay?"

"I'm a goddamn failure. A disgrace to my da-" Tiomoyo caught himself. "My teacher."

"Don't say that... You nearly beat the strongest one in the entire school. You amazed everyone. You're a legend. People are talking all about you!"

Tiomoyo's face clenched as tears rolled down his eyes. "You don't understand... I don't give a shit what those assholes think! I bled, I tortured myself for this... All for nothing. No matter what I did, mister ol' goddamn hard work couldn't beat the fucking princess! She's barely had to work for any of her power... IT'S NOT FAIR!"

Tiomoyo choked on his tears as he quivered. His face flushed and twisted as he felt a deep sensation in his soul. His anger seemed to have an unintelligible voice of its own. So many things to say, no composure to say them.

"Do you hate her?" Sasame gently proposed.

"N-No." Tiomoyo buried his face in his palm and gritted his teeth. "She hasn't done anything wrong. I just... I... Why can't I be good enough?"

"Oh, Tiomoyo..." Sasame shed a tear of her own and wrapped him in a gentle hug, throwing her warm arms around him and embracing him in her reassuring grasp. "You are good enough. You tried your best against impossible odds and did better than anyone there thought you could, even those with their faith in you. It wasn't fair-" Sasame pulled her face closer to Tiomoyo's as she smiled, despite a tear in her eye from seeing her friend in such distress. "But goddamn Tiomoyo, you made it fair."