Substitute Child (Ross Lynch)

Chapter 12

A knock on the door followed by my name being called softly occurred, and I lifted my head slightly just in time to see the door open. 

"Sky, Matt's here." Ross murmured gently, crossing the room to sit at the edge of the bed. "I know you don't want to see anyone, but he's really worried about you. And I really don't want to leave you alone while I head to the store."

"Why are you going to the store?" I asked, sitting up to lean against the headboard. My head pounded in protest, but I did my best to ignore the pain. 

"I need to talk to Brian about some things. He knows I want to take over Wheels, but I need to tell him that it won't be happening for a while. Not until we have Olivia back." 

My heart immediately ached at the sound of her name. Every time she was mentioned, I just wanted to cry until my throat was raw. I felt so empty without her, and even though I was grateful that I had Ross, I would never feel whole until she was back in my arms. 

We would never be the same without her. 

"If you want me to stay home I will. I'll just tell Brian I'll talk to him another day." 

I shook my head. "Go and talk to him. I'll be okay." 

Ross stared at me, hesitation in his eyes. But he soon nodded and leaned forward, kissing my forehead gently. "Call me if you need anything. I promise I won't be gone long."

I nodded and gave him a small smile. I hated that I was causing him so much pain, but I couldn't help it. I knew he was hurting as well, and that only caused more guilt to flood through my body. I was acting like Olivia was only my child, and that I was the only one hurting. 

I hated that I was acting like a complete bitch, and I hated that I couldn't stop. 

Once Ross left, Matt entered, softly closing the door behind him. "Hey, Sky. How're you feeling?" 

I shrugged, not wanting to lie or tell the truth. I honestly couldn't describe how I was feeling at the moment. Even if I did know how I was feeling, telling my brother would only earn me a sympathetic look, and that was the last thing I wanted. 

"You know you can talk to me, Sky. I don't know what you're going through, but I'm always here to listen. Just please, please talk to me. I'm so worried about you." A pained expression crossed his face. "I know this is hard for you, it is for all of us, but you can't keep all your emotions bottled up."

Much to my surprise, a tear rolled down my brother's cheek, causing my eyes to fill with tears. "Ross told me you're not eating or getting out of bed, and it's killing him to see you suffer like this. We know that you miss Olivia, we all do, but you can't starve yourself? You're not doing your body any good, Sky. Do you want to end up in the hospital?"

All I could do was shake my head, continuous tears rolling down my cheeks. My heart was hammering in my chest, causing my chest to ache. 

"Please don't hurt yourself, Sky. I can't stand the thought of losing my baby sister." He wrapped his arms around me, letting out a small sob. I had never seen Matt cry like this, and I didn't like it. Now I was causing my brother pain, and I was beginning to hate myself even more. 

~*~

When it was time for Matt to go home, Ross had yet to come home, leaving me alone. The first thing I did was take a shower and change into a pair of clean clothes. And realizing that both Ross and Matt were right, I made myself something to eat. I couldn't starve myself and stay in bed all day. 

But I also couldn't stay home and sit around, just waiting for news on Olivia. That's what was making me go insane. Waiting. I needed to keep myself occupied, but I needed to do it out of the apartment. Anytime I walked past her room, I just wanted to curl up in a ball.