You drew stars around my scars

How did it end?

Jessica's battles continued, every day a war in her own head.

As her weight continued to drop, so did her mood. She had no energy and was constantly snappy.

Taylor was beginning to really struggle with balancing Jessica and Emmeline – their needs so wildly different that she felt she was always letting one of them down.

Jessica knew this and she kept trying to reassure Taylor that this wasn't the case at all. Jessica knew Taylor was muddling through as best she could.

Seeing the guilt the blonde faced just added to Jessica's woes though. She felt guilty for putting Taylor through this – guilty that Taylor was missing out on her babies life because she was trying to care for the unwell teen too. Taylor had even hired a Nanny for Emmeline so she could try and balance everything.

Jessica knew that they would be better off without her. The more she thought about it, the more it made sense. If she was no longer there – Taylor could focus on the baby, Emmeline would get a better upbringing and Taylor would be worry free. Jessica could be free of all the hurt and the pain and she could set Taylor and Emmeline free – at least that's what her broken mind kept telling her. As she realised she could control this, she felt a sense of calm for the first time in months.

She knew she couldn't let Taylor know what she was planning, she knew the blonde would never let her out of her sight again. So she had to put on a good show. Over the next couple of weeks she got things ready – made a good plan.

She ate just enough to pacify Taylor into letting her stay at home rather than admitting her back into the hospital, knowing she would be stuck for months if she landed in there – it was time she didn't have.

Tuesday afternoon, Taylor walked into Jessica's bedroom and caught the teen staring at her body in the mirror. The blonde walked over to her, hugging her from behind "you look great buddy"

Jessica blinked and nodded sharply, trying not to cry. All she could think is this would be her body forever. She wished it was smaller. She couldn't tell Taylor that though – couldn't alert her to the fact the girl was even contemplating ending her own life.

Instead she turned around, hugging Taylor tightly. The blonde squeezed her then chucked "what's going on?"

Jessica looked up, awe in her face "I am just SO lucky to have you. You really are the best Taylor"

The blonde smirked playfully "Oh I know!"

Jessica rolled her eyes "No, I mean it. Everything you have done for me is astonishing. You have helped me so much, I have been so lucky to have you in my life. I love you so much"

Tears welled in Taylor's eyes – the girls warm words making her emotional "I am the lucky one buddy. You are the most incredible person I have ever known."

They stood there, hugging for a minute or so until Taylor pulled back and kissed the teen's head gently before looking around the bedroom "you've really tidied up in here!"

Jessica grinned "yeah – what is it you kept saying to me, tidy room – tidy mind?"

Taylor nodded, "nice!"

As she walked out, Jessica sighed loudly, thinking to herself and I got rid of everything I don't want you to find. There is nothing in here now to be a painful reminder for you.

Tuesday evening, Jessica began to set her plan into motion. Tomorrow morning Taylor had a work meeting. Taylor had arranged for the Nanny to take the baby for the morning so she could focus fully – the plan was that Jessica was going to sit in Taylor's office and wait for them to finish, but the teen had other ideas. She was never left alone but she knew she needed time if her plan was going to work. So after dinner she began to cough gently, clutching at her throat every so often until Taylor turned to look at her "you not feeling good baby?"