The Tomboy (slow updates)

Rude

"What do YOU want?" I asked as I backed away slowly

"Sam c'mon, it's me"

"I know who you are but suddenly i feel like i don't anymore"

"Sammy.."

"No, don't you 'Sammy' me alright, why were you out with Shauna?! After knowing you for 12 years, 12 YEARS of you bitching about her and saying that when it comes to the two of us, you would never, NEVER choose her over me but now I see that everything you've told me has just been one fat lie, hasn't it Cody?"

He sighed and looked down to his feet "I never wanted this to happen Sam"

"Yeah whatever" I replied whilst crossing me arms and looking to the ocean

It looks so calm and beautiful, how the waves would crash on to the sand leaving tiny bubbles on the shore, the beautiful navy blue of the sea water, the way the waves would pick up the sand and throw it over.

It reminded me of better times

"Why am I even out here anyways?"

"I wanted to talk to you"

"About what? Your new girlfriend and her little posse? About how Aj is suddenly a part of that 'posse'? About how you and Dean left me?"

"CAN YOU JUST LET ME SPEAK" He yelled

Cody has never ever yelled at me and frankly it's really scary, I don't know what else to do other than hang me head and take a few steps backs out of fear

He looked up at me with those huge brown eyes which were filled with tears and said "No, no, no, no Sam please, don't I just- I miss you and- please don't hate me, I don't know what I'd do without you. You're like a sister to me and I can't.."

His eyes started welling up to the point where tears started to come out, I couldn't just stand there and pretend like seeing Cody cry didn't effect me.

I took a few steps forward and stood on my toes as I wrapped my hands around his neck, "I love you Cody, it's just that, it hurts"

Why? You ask

Shauna has hated me for some reason ever since middle school, I don't understand why

A lot of you can say "Maybe it's cuz she's jealous" or something cliche like that but sadly, life isn't a teen movie where everyone turns out fine, where friendships are made and relationships are mended.

Life is cruel, just as you may think things are working out, reality swoops in and knocks you off your feet.

You can't always make everyone happy and ensure that everyone likes you, and that's what kills me inside man

I care so much about what other people think that I end up being fake

I mean, it's improved over the last few years but I still get tormented

I used to pretend to be girly and pretty and innocent and whatever, in order to get people to like me (And that was also one of the only time Shauna actually liked me)

It was terrible, I'd look forward to going out of town just so I could be myself, I soon broke out of that phase though and became who I really was ( well at least externally)

I became my tomboy self and you know what? Throwing away (well donating) all my girly clothes was like a massive weight being lifted of my shoulder

I was able to get out my sneakers and over sized jumpers again and be who I really am; inside and out

A tomboy

"Shauna has changed Sam, she's a better person now" Cody says

"Really?"

Pssh no, she's not changed one bit
Let's take this afternoon as an example

But I wasn't gonna say that to his face

"Yeah, I swear, she's become sooooo much better! She's so generous and kind and you'll love her but you just need to give her a chance"

Wow

WOW

I really wanna bring up what happened with the slushie

"Whatever, i don't see any point of being here so I'm gonna go home" I said as i turned around and started walking away

"Wait, don't go!" Cody replies as he jogs up to me "Let's go down to Rick's cafe and have our infamous caramel milkshakes like we used to"

I look up at him to see a little glimmer of hope and caramel milkshakes do sound good right now

"I- I can't"

That little sparkle in his eyes disappeared and his face turned from bright and happy to disappointed

"At least let me drive you home, I wanna show you my new laser headlights man"

"It's okay, really. I'm sure you have a date with Shauna or something and I don't want to delay you so I'll just walk"

He sighed "Alright then, you'll see what I was talking about one day, she really has changed"

"Maybe one day..."

"Well then, I'll head off, thanks for coming Sam and listen, you can always call me if you need anything"

"Yeah sure, see ya"

He gave me a quick side hug and jogged off towards the car park

I can't believe this is happening

I have to call up the only person I can really trust right now

Big mama