"Hmmm!!! How much do ya think she'll fetch Boss Ugachi-Sama!!?" A Goblin yelled out as he danced around Selka's unconscious form. "You think she'll fetch any big bucks!?"
"Hahahaha! How should I, The great Lizard Killer Ugachi-Sama know what to do with such a simpleton girl!?" said Ugachi with a laugh. "Oh wait! I would know!! I AM The Great Ugachi-Sama after all!! Of course I'll sell her!!"
"Uhh.. Boss, I know we're sellin' her. Just wanna know how much she'll fetch!"
"Uhhh.. let's do the countables on our wittle fingers shall we!?" said Ugachi. He held up his fingers and began counting off. "Uuuhhh.. she's got an arm.. that's one Goblin Coin.. she has two arms!! Two Goblin coins.. uhh.. she's gotta head... so.. what's after 2?"
"Hmmmm." said a Goblin. "Five?"
"Pie?" said another Goblin.
"Bacon!!" said another.
"Nappa cabbage!!" said a third goblin.
"Vegeta!!" said one goblin.
"Wha!? What's a Vegeta!?"
"I don' know! It just sounds right when ya say it with Nappa Cabbage!! Whenever I think about Nappa, I think of somethin' bald and annoying!!"
"You're bald and annoying!!"
"We're goblins! We're allll bald and annoying!!"
"The Great Ugachi-Sama has a plan!!" said Ugachi. "We can use the money we get from sellin' this fine piece'o' working livestock to buy ourselves hair!! Then we'll just be annoying!"
"YEAAAHHHHH!!!" All the goblins yelled. "THE GREAT LIZARD KILLER UGACHI-SAMA HAS ONCE MORE SHOWN HIS GENIUS!!! ALL HAIL THE GREAT UGACHI-SAMA!!!"
"Indeed!" said Ugachi. "I am totally great aren't I!? Yes sirrrreeeeee!!! Now let's cook that girl, eat her.. then figure out how we're going to sell her!"
"Uhhh... boss? If we cook her and eat her, won't that mean we can't sell her? Cause, ya know.. we ate her?"
"Uhhh.. right!!" Ugachi said. "I was just joking! Of course we're going to sell her first! Then we'll eat her!"
"YEAHHHHH!!!!" The goblins exclaimed. "THE GREAT UGACHI-SAMA ONCE MORE DISPLAYS HIS UNBRIDLED GENIUS!!! ALL HAIL THE GREAT UGACHI-SAMA!!!"
"But wait.." said a goblin. "If we sell her.. then we can't eat her.. cause she wouldn't be ours anymore.
"But wait!! Here's the kicker!" said Ugachi. "We'll eat her BEFORE we sell her!! That way, we'll sate our hunger and earn money!! And when we eat her, we'll be okay!! Cause she'll still be ours right!!?"
"THAT'S BRILLIANT!!" All the other goblins exclaimed, jumping up and down with delight. "LET'S EAT HER RIGHT NOW!!!"
"WAIT!!" said Ugachi. "This fine specimen o' meat needs some good 'ol preparin' an' stuff!! You guys go an' patrol the corridors!! After all!! We don' wan' know idiots ambushin' us while we're eating righ'?
"THAT'S RIGHT!!" The goblins roared.
"Cause we ain't stupid are we fellas!?"
"NO!!! WE'RE GENIUSES!! AND UGACHI-SAMA IS THE BEST!!! ALL HAIL THE GREAT UGACHI-SAMA!!"
And so a regiment of around 6 goblins trailed into the caves.. as the rest of the group began arguing on how best to cook Selka, as if it were some twisted remake of the Troll chapter from the Hobbit Novel.
As the 6 goblins trailed through the dark caverns, lighting torches that were attached to the walls as they went, there was a silent 'fwip'.. as two arrows hit two more isolated goblins in the head.. killing them instantly..
YOU ARE READING
Railgun Online Book 4: Alicization Beginning
FanfictionOne bright sunny day, Mikoto Misaka and her cousin Shino Asada decided to meet their friends Kazuto and Asuna at a diner in Academy City. While there, they are attacked by a mysterious magician named Vento of The Front, who gives them a cryptic warn...
