FIGHT FOR ME

39} That's A Body

[Zelos's pov]

Siony offered to drive me home one more time, but I refused. There's no need to act like a fucking gentleman now.

A flashy black rover drove by on the street as I walked away from Siony's house on the sidewalk, and I heard the garage door on Siony's house open. That was probably Claudius, but I didn't even look back to check.

It was late, my eyes felt heavy, and I dragged my feet to the bus stop. The cool air froze up the inside of my nose and I felt numb. It didn't matter if I closed my eyes or looked at my surroundings, everything felt so dark. I kept thinking. And then, I plugged in my earbuds and played some music from my phone so I would stop thinking.

If you think I'm pretty, lay your hands on me...I know you can't stop thinking 'bout it.

The music wasn't helping at all.

...said you needed love, but you're only here for sex, and.

I could see clearly outside, mansions and mansions running away and then a large grassy field running after it. After that, it all went dark except for the moonlight. It seemed like my life was going so fast I couldn't process what was going on, and then when things finally become still, all I could see is darkness. I was the moon.

I know that you're shitty and you're bad for me, but I can't stop thinking 'bout it.

The bright white lights of the bus stung my vision, it forced me to look at myself in the glass window. I hated what I saw. What was it that I've been feeling all this time? My palm tightened on the bus handgrip like a fist. I hated my feelings, because I don't have hands. All I have are fists.

On the next nearest school day, I felt like I couldn't take a damn step into the classroom. Even if I didn't do anything wrong, I just know I fucked up. Siony. I let myself catch a little crush on him, and that means that I won't be able handle even a little rejection from him. I've haven't learned, I've been so fucking stupid all along. Feelings cripple you when the other person can't reciprocate, if you let it fester it will take and take from you until you are no more.

But still, I walked into that classroom. As a matter of fact, I arrived five minutes late to the history class I shared with Siony and stomped my feet in hoping the teacher would yell at me like every other time. And he did. Instead of feeling angrier, I felt a little happier. I needed to be yelled at, then maybe I won't fucking do it again. For fuck's sake, hit me where it hurts a little harder.

I knew Siony sat next to me, I felt his eyes on me but I didn't dare to look. I felt like I might breakdown if I did. But I guess that wasn't very important to me, because I gave up and stole a quick glance.

Siony was doing something strange, he had one hand writing in his notebook as usual but his other hand was also holding a pen and it was writing on a small piece of paper. I just frowned and looked away, trying to keep my attention on the front of the classroom.

Then I felt a micro gust of wind so I flinched, I looked down on my desk and there was the same small piece of paper folded up once. Siony was passing me a note, instead of using his hand to give it to me he levitated it over very rapidly so no one would notice. Siony was passing me a fucking note?!

I looked back at him, and he wasn't even looking at me, that jackass was pretending like he didn't even do anything and fucking diddling with his pen and spinning it around while staring at the teacher teaching. I scoffed quietly.

I unfolded his little note.

Sure enough, there was his familiar atrocious handwriting that I did not miss at all. He had scribbled it quickly and there were mistakes he crossed out and wouldn't let me see, he seemed to have put in too much thought to it.