𝐈 𝐣𝐮𝐬𝐭 𝐛𝐥𝐢𝐧𝐤𝐞𝐝 // 𝐛𝐢𝐥𝐥𝐢𝐞 𝐞𝐢𝐥𝐢𝐬𝐡 𝐟𝐚𝐧𝐟𝐢𝐜𝐭𝐢𝐨𝐧

44: not all good, not all bad

jules

clauida and i were holding each other, walking to our plane gate and then my phone rang. "hello?" i answered, creating a small distance with my best friend now.

"jules, how are you."

"father john?" i frowned, instantly knowing who was on the other line. listening to him host youth groups for so many years, being friends with my family, his voice isn't a voice i can just forget.

"yes."

"i'm good, what— i do- i don't understand." i didn't know how to respond.

"your mother came to me." he told me. "her health isn't the greatest right now, and jules she has never been the same since you left."

i froze in my place and clauida stopped a couple moments after me realizing i wasn't next to her. "what's wrong with mom?" my heart was aching. mom has always had health problems, but it wasn't something too serious back then and she always did a great job at being positive. this only tells me that it's actually bad.

"she's a admitting that she doesn't feel good and she's reaching out to you jules. it's bad." he validated my suspicions.

"who is with her?" i asked.

"the community is around her, everyone takes shifts. you know how beloved she is." he replied. "she wanted to send you a letter."

"written by her?" i couldn't help it, tears were slipping away from me.

"yes jules, and you're going to write her something and send it to the return address okay? that's a request from me."

"do you think she's not going to make it?" my voice cracked.

"i know she needs your prayers." he replied.

"please father just be straight up with me, don't be gentle with your words. is she going to make it?"

"the lord only knows, but her time may end soon." he replied.

"i can come? please father you have to help me see her. i never got a chance to say goodbye to her, think of the eternal good deeds that'll be counted for you." i begged and even tried to bait him.

"no matter what, you will always be welcome here in the church. even if you father might not appreciate it."

"okay, thank you father. i'll wait on that letter." i nodded in understanding and we hung up.

"what happend?" claudia looked concerned. "is your mom okay?"

"no." i shook my head, crying and fell into her arms. she held me for some a few moments before she asked what i needed and all i needed was to get on that plane and go back home. i'm too tired.

i always clung onto the hope that ill see her again and a part of me really believed and another thought it wasn't possible. now i feel like i'm grieving her again for the second time and she still hasn't passed.

i blinked and clauida was tucking me into bed and then she left the room. i blinked again to find the sun peeking through my blinds and claudia sleeping right next to me. i slipped out of bed and opened my laptop to a word document, starting out my letter.

i just write and write and write and write i didn't give myself a word limit just yet. "here, i made you breakfast." clauida put the plate on the table i was working at.

"i didn't realize you were up." i sniffled.

"i didn't want to disturb you." she replied. "do you need me to get you anything?"