Game Changer - Hell's Rejects MC Series Book 1

Chapter Twenty Five

Amelia

I marched outside, fuelled purely by adrenaline and fear. Once I realised, after several tense minutes, that neither of them would follow me, I let out a deep breath and allowed myself to relax.

With my heart rate slowly decreasing and the ebb of adrenaline wearing off, a wave of tiredness started to creep up on me. I tried my hardest to keep the thoughts at bay of what she had wanted to do to me. Why hadn't she just listened to me when I said I don't do needles?

A violent shudder ran down my spine as the memory of needle after needle pricking my flesh invaded my thoughts. I knew she wasn't going to do anything except take my blood but that still didn't take the fear away nor the wicked memories that I constantly fought to keep at bay, day after day.

As I stood and watched the dogs meander around, I found myself wandering off into thoughts of Dion. I couldn't help but smirk as I thought of what he must be thinking right now. I bet he wished that he'd just left me alone at the slimy hands of Slim Jim.

A twinge of guilt tugged at my insides, making me think I should eat some humble pie and apologise for hurting him. It's not like I'd wanted to, but he'd left me with little choice when my options were to hurt him or be stuck with a needle again.

It was as I was thinking this that I realised to want to apologise to him, I must care what he thinks of me. Why was that? Did I want him to not hate me? My experience of men thus far had left me with little wanting to develop any relationship with any one of them, but something about Dion wouldn't let me ignore him completely.

Ushering the dogs along, I shrugged off my contemplation with the simple explanation that my pregnancy hormones were doing all kinds of weird things to my mind. Then, as my stomach rumbled at me, my memory of the previous night when we cooked together sprung to mind, making me yearn for that moment again. Something about the whole scenario had just felt so...intimate but without the physical connection. Was that what I was looking for? A connection on a mental level rather than a physical one?

I went back to the moment he'd kissed my hand in the living room. That had been a connection right there. But then only seconds later, it had all been ripped away. I shivered. Even connecting with someone on an emotional level didn't guarantee safety from being hurt. From what I'd read in news reports, books, and even seen on TV, more often than not, those closest to you are the ones who hurt you.

A big penny dropped then as I realised this was exactly the case with my life. My dad had, albeit inadvertently, hurt my sister and I, and I had inadvertently hurt my sister, and vice versa. Was this how life was supposed to be? Just one trial and tribulation after another until you die? Maybe I was just being over sensitive?

Mooching around the compound, I pondered over the point of life and relationships. With the baby growing inside me, a different perspective suddenly broke through my thoughts. What if I ended up hurting my child? Even if I didn't mean to, would it be something that would scar them for life? Change them in such a huge way that they would become someone they shouldn't have been? Would I be a different person right now if my mom hadn't died?

I trudged my way back to the house and decided I should apologise to Dion and Mischa. As I opened the front door, I sucked in a deep breath, ready for confrontation. Instead, I was met with nothing. No sign of either Dion or Mischa.

Relieved I could avoid the fallout from my explosion for a while longer, I set about making the dogs their breakfast. As I spooned their meat into their bowls, I began to think again about what had happened in this house barely twenty minutes ago. Both Dion and Mischa would now have a completely different view of me as a person, all because of one tiny incident.