~ f a c t : 2 1 - b r o k e n ~

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Seungmin awoke to bright light shining through the curtains and a throbbing head. He slowly pushed himself up, wincing as the pain only grew. He noticed he was still in the same clothes from last night, when suddenly, the memories of what had happened flooding back in, worsening his headache as a great wave of guilt hit him like a train. His eyes searched his room until they landed on his boyfriend, who was curled up on an armchair, only wearing boxers and a shirt, that Seungmin recognised as his own. The only confusing part of the situation was why the younger hadn't slept on the bed with Seungmin.

Ignoring the throbbing in his head, that only gradually got worse, his pulled the covers off himself and walked over to Jeongin, crouching down in front of him and taking one of his soft hands into his rougher one's, caressing the back with his thumb while admiring the peacefulness on the shorter's face as he slept. Seungmin sighed to himself, slowly standing up and letting go of Jeongin's hand. He moved his arms under the younger's, slowly lifting him, causing Jeongin to stir. "Minnie?" He mumbled, groggily blinking his eye open.

But the elder shushed him and promoted him to wrap his leg around his waist. "Shh, sleep, love, we'll talk later." He had whispered as Jeongin obliged and wrapped his legs around Seungmin's waist, allowing the latter to carry him over to the bed. (A/N : let's pretend that Seungmin would actually be able to do that 😭)

He gentle lower Jeongin onto his bed, laying down next to him and pulling the covers over them. Jeongin's eyes were still slightly opened as he looked at his boyfriend with admiration and a little bit of something else... was it sadness? Seungmin observed his expression, but trying to figure him out only seemed to add to the ingrowing headache so he ignored it for the time being and opened his arms invitingly instead. 

The younger shuffled into his arms, his face buried in Seungmin's chest, while the latter's arms were wrapped securely around Jeongin's neck, keeping him close as he rested his head atop the shorter's. He sighed, both content and guilty. "I'm sorry, baby." He whispered, feeling Jeongin nod in acknowledgment into his chest. "I'm really sorry."

Seungmin knew what he had done would've affected so many people, but the fact that he had hurt Jeongin would forever be something he couldn't ever forgive himself for. It was selfish, impulsive and unthoughtful. He was surprised that Jeongin had stayed here. He understood why Jeongin didn't want to sleep in bed with him. He was probably upset. But Seungmin would do anything and everything to get his forgiveness, even if that meant harming himself in the process. Jeongin had been nothing but the best and most caring boyfriend, friend and person Seungmin had encountered and he figured that he may have hurt many people in the past (Felix, Hyunjin, Chan), but Jeongin... He wouldn't dare hurt him. At least not intentionally.

The self-hate Seungmin felt in the moment was more than could be said. He hadn't even realised the tears that slipped down his cheek and fell onto the younger's hair, until Jeongin wrapped his arms around Seungmin's torso and gave it a comforting squeeze, reassuring him it was okay to cry, so Seungmin let more tears fall silently from his eyes. Jeongin pulled away slightly from Seungmin's chest to look up at his boyfriend, lifting an arm to wipe a few tears away.

"I'm so, so sorry, Innie. I'm such an asshole and you deserve so much better." He said between tears, holding back a sob.

Jeongin just shook his head and continued to wipe the salty tears falling from his boyfriend's eyes. "I shouldn't have done that... Now Chan and Felix are probably upset with me too..." He bit his lip to contain a small sob that threatened to escape his lips. "...and you... if you want to break up it's fine. You deserve so much better and I completely understand if--"

He was cut of by a pair of soft lips meeting his in a gentle and calming kiss. Seungmin's eyes were wide as he studied his boyfriends face, who eyes were shut softly, before finally closing his own. He felt his headache subsiding gradually as he held Jeongin even closer by the waist, wanting to feel every part of him. (A/N : ong if someone makes this weird-- I'll actually disappear for weeks, mourning my stupidity of not deleting when I could've 😃)

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