Did You Know? // Hyunlix

~ f a c t : 2 2 - c o n t r a d i c t i n g ~

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A/N : not an update, just forgot to name the chapter 😃😃

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Jeongin slowly awoke to the feeling of someone playing with his hair gently. When he opened his eyes, he was met with someone's clothed chest and arms around him, holding him close to the chest. His eyes travelled up the other's body, to meet Seungmin's puppy-like face. The latter was yet to notice his boyfriend's awakening and continued to absent-mindedly fiddle with the younger's blonde hair, deep in thought. 

A tired groan from Jeongin, snapped him back to reality and his eyes met the latter's as he looked down. Seungmin smiled softly at the boy and removed his finger's from Jeongin's hair to cup the boy's cheeks instead. "Good afternoon." He greeted, his voice still raspy from sleep and a few octaves lower.

Jeongin returned the smile with his own sleepy one, dimples popping weakly at the corners of his lips. "Good-- Wait it's already afternoon?!." Jeongin exclaimed as he shot up with panicked eyes.

Seungmin chuckled, despite the disappointment he felt when Jeongin's warm body moved away from him. "Relax, love. Today's for us anyway..." He trailed off, slightly afraid to bring up the topic. "And we kinda need to talk..."

The younger bit his lip and nodded understandingly, "Well... What do you wanna know?" 

The elder took a sharp intake of air and blew it out, puffing his cheeks out in the process. "You and Chan... How and when..?" He asked hesitantly, not wanting to push too far incase it was a sensitive topic.

"Back in high school..." Jeongin began, his mood further dropping as a sad expression crossed his face. "I had a huge crush on him and one day... he overheard one of my friends talking about it loudly and when I knew he knew, I kinda just... went for it and asked him out." The blonde scoffed sorrowfully, his eyes glassing over slightly. "He said yes... And so we started dating..." The younger blinked back the tears and drew on a smile, not wanting to worry his boyfriend, but the latter saw right through him.

Seungmin sat up next to Jeongin, cautiously wrapping an arm around his shoulders and pulling his closer to his chest. "But... that's a good thing... right?" He mentioned, ignoring the jealousy that burned in his throat and knowing he'd just have to listen to Jeongin for now and try understand him; remind himself how it was all in the past and Jeongin liked him now.

The latter laughed humourlessly, his body shaking lightly against Seungmin's as the empty sound filled the silence. "Oh, it was great. Chan... he was an amazing boyfriend. He treated me right, never even looked in the direction of another person, made me feel love and as if... as if he actually liked me back..." Jeongin's voice thinned out and broke as he tried to contain his sobs, his ability to control his tears slowly reducing to nothing as the salty, silent tears dripped down his chin, onto Seungmin's shirt. 

"Darling... what do you mean..?" Seungmin questioned after Jeongin remained silent for a while.

Jeongin turned his head upwards so his gaze was locked onto Seungmin. He smiled through the tears, somehow wanting desperately to reassure Seungmin that he was okay, although he was far from it. "He never liked me... Not in the same way I did him, at least. He ended it one random day--" A sob left his lips, cutting him off. "We were walking in a park, holding hands... I was so happy because I thought he loved me. But then, he turned to me and said he wanted to end it... He said that he had felt bad rejecting me at the time and thought that... overtime... maybe he'd grow feelings for me... and love me the way I did him. But he didn't. He never liked me, Seungmin." The blonde boy was crying loudly by now, barely managing his words. "He was so good at covering it up that... i-it broke me... Broke me so badly I had no self respect, Seungmin. I begged him, begged him to stay with me. I told him I didn't care if he could never love me, I just wanted him to be with me. I was so selfish, I just wanted him to stay with me. I feel so worthless; like I always have to make sure everyone is pleased with me just so I feel loved, just so I can be loved!"