Growing Pains [Finished]

Part 2

Part 2

A Week Later

"Grandma, how do I get no say in this?" Messiah said. "I don't want to live with her."

"She's your mother." Ms. Tina said.

"I don't even know her."

Ms. Tina sighed as Messiah helped make the guest room bed up for Beyoncé. Beyoncé didn't want to take him out of school with a month to go so she called her manager and told her she was taking a break for a month or so to get things in order. Nicki agreed and put everything on hold for the next two months.

"Well you'll be getting to know her." Ms. Tina said.

"Why she gotta stay here though?" He said.

"Because my mama invited me." Beyoncé said walking in the room with her suitcase.

Messiah smacked his teeth and left out the room.

"I see you cut that hair." Beyoncé said laughing and shaking her head.

Beyoncé sat down on the bed and Ms. Tina did too.

"That boy is just like you." Ms. Tina said.

"No he's not." Beyoncé said.

"That's what you think. He's just like you at that age. Bad as hell."

"I was not" Beyoncé said shocked. "He probably got that from his father."

Ms. Tina looked at Beyoncé with sympathy. Tina will never forget that night she got that call from Beyoncé thinking she went into early labor when she heard her crying. It wasn't that at all. It was Beyoncé finding her boyfriend, Malik, in their apartment dead. He had an aneurism. After that it seemed Beyoncé had put up a brick wall from the world even her own child.

"Well either way, time to grow up." Ms. Tina said patting her thigh getting up. "We're going to church tonight for the youth revival. You wanna go?"

"My child goes to church and he talks the way he does?" Beyoncé said.

"I remember a girl just like him." Tina said. "We leaving at six thirty."

Beyoncé laid on the bed looking at the ceiling. This would be the first time she would have to be a mother. When Messiah's father died Beyoncé's emotions went right a long with him. She knew she would not be able to nurture him the way she wanted. Ms. Tina never agreed with Beyoncé's decision and couldn't take him in for herself because her job required a lot of traveling so Ms. Connie, Malik's mother, stepped up. Beyoncé financially took care of her child but knew she couldn't be a mother. She never missed a graduation or birthday but she couldn't be a mother.

After a while Beyoncé nodded off and fell asleep.

***

"Messiah!" Ms. Tina yelled a few hours later.

Messiah walked to his grandmothers door.

"Go wake up your mama." She said.

He sighed.

"Do I have to? Can't she just stay here?" He asked.

"Boy, go wake her up." Ms. Tina said.

Messiah left and went towards the guest room. He looked and saw his mother sleep. He called her name but she didn't move. He went closer to her and knew he needed to wake her up. He swung his arm back to make contact with her arm but was stopped short.

Beyoncé had grabbed his arm before it came in contact with her body.

"I wish the hell you would." Beyoncé said before she opened her eyes.

When she did she scowled at him.

"Next time you try some shit like that I will beat your ass you understand me?"

"Man, let me go." He trying to get out of her grip.

She gripped his arm a little tighter.

"I said do you understand?"

"Yeah, yeah." He said and she let go.

He looked at his arm and saw it was red and then looked at Beyoncé and left out.

Beyoncé looked at the clock and noticed she didn't have a lot of time. So wore some relaxed jeans and a white v-neck with a jean jacket.

Beyoncé grabbed her purse and went down stairs where her mother and son was. Messiah had a scowl on his face.

"What's wrong with you?" Ms. Tina asked looking at him.

"Yeah, what's wrong with you?" Beyoncé asked.

"Nothing, I'm fine." He said.

They all made their way to Ms. Tina's car and got in and drove to the church.

"I think Messiah has a surprise to show you at church Bey." Ms. Tina said.

"No I don't. There's nothing to show her." He said.

Beyoncé turned around to look at him.

"Don't let me find out you got a little voice in that body." Beyoncé said.

"Man, chill." He said.

Beyoncé laughed and looked at her mother and Ms. Tina looked at her laughing.

"He got a lil voice? Why didn't nobody tell me?"

"Because, you should've been here to know about it anyway." Messiah said from the back seat.

The laughter died down and Ms. Tina gave her a reassuring smile. Beyoncé was starting to think her child would hate her for the rest of his life.

They walked into the church. The service had already started with kids doing praise and worship. Beyoncé was shocked at how good they were. Messiah went to go sit with his friends while Beyoncé and Ms. Tina went to go sit by Kelly and her husband and baby.

While the service went on it was basically ran by the kids. Beyoncé was so into the music and she looked towards the piano. It was a guy wearing jeans and a polo. He didn't look like your regular church pianist. He seemed to have a bit more swag. Beyoncé was loving the service.

"Now we will have a selection by the youth choir and then the next voice you will hear is our speaker." The young lady said from the podium.

Beyoncé saw kids getting up and lastly was her son. She saw him go towards the piano player and they exchanged some words and did a dap. Messiah went towards the mic and people began to clap for him. He hadn't even sung yet. Beyoncé looked at her mother and Ms. Tina looked at her like just watch and see.

The pianist switched from the organ to the piano and he started. Beyoncé knew exactly what he was playing and that guy sound just like the record. The choir started with the chorus and then Beyoncé looked towards her son as he was about to sing.

"Truth is I'm tired
Options are few.
I'm trying to pray
But where are you?
I'm all churched out
Hurt and abused
I can't fake
What's left to do..."

Beyoncé sat mesmerized by her own child. She never knew he could sing especially like this. Ms. Tina and Kelly watched Beyoncé watch her son. They watched as tears poured down her face. Kelly passed Beyoncé a tissue and Beyoncé thanked her and her eyes went right back to her son. Ms. Tina smiled looking at her daughter. She hopes her daughter is finally waking up to see exactly what she was missing.

Beyoncé stood up and clapped along with the other members of the congregation. She was so proud at that moment. She hadn't felt anything like that in a long time.

She sat down as the service went on and then ended. Ms. Tina told Beyoncé to wait on Messiah while she had to talk to somebody and they'd meet at the car.

A few kids came up wanting autographs and pictures and Beyoncé had no problems doing that.

"Look at you." Beyoncé heard.

"Michelle." Beyoncé said and they hugged. "Oh my god. I didn't even know you still went here. I thought you moved."

"I did but came back about a year ago." She said. "Your son is amazing. Reminds me of you back in the day."

"Yeah, I couldn't even believe it when I heard him." Beyoncé said.

"Take my number." Michelle said. "Me, you and Kelly have to have a sit down."

They exchanged numbers.

"You know me and Kelly-"

"That's why we having a sit down." Michelle said. "We were too close to fall apart the way we did. How long you in town?"

"About a month."

"Okay, cool. I'll call you." Michelle said.

"Alright." Beyoncé said and they hugged again.

Beyoncé kept waiting for her son but didn't know what was taking so long. She went walking back in the church and heard familiar cords.

"There is none like you.
None like you.
None like you.
Jesus, excellent..."

Beyoncé walked up on her child and the piano guy. He played "How Excellent" while Messiah sung. Messiah stopped when he saw his mother standing there. The piano guy looked behind him.

"Sorry for interrupting." Beyoncé said.

"No it's cool, we were just playing around." He said standing up.

"Sound good for just playing around." Beyoncé said walking towards him.

"Well that's all Messiah." The piano guy said looking at Messiah. "Oh, my bad. I'm Shawn Carter, the music guy here I guess."

"Nice to meet you, I'm Beyoncé." She said as they shook hands.

"Yeah, Messiah's mother. He talks about you all the time-"

"No I don't." Messiah said cutting him off.

"Okay." Beyoncé said awkwardly. "Your grandma's waiting."

"Okay, bye Shawn." Messiah said dapping him up.

"Alright, see you Saturday and don't forget your sticks." Shawn said.

"Sticks?" Beyoncé asked.

"Drums." Messiah said. "I have practice Saturday."

"Oh, okay. Well nice meeting you Shawn."

"Nice meeting you too Beyoncé."

Beyoncé and Messiah walked out of church and to the car. When they got in the house they ate and called it a night.

Beyoncé knocked on Messiah's door and he yelled come in. He was focused on playing the game and Beyoncé looked around his room. He had a keyboard and basketball and music posters everywhere. What surprised her was he had a stack of magazines and it was the magazine of every cover she ever did. He had both her albums Dangerously In Love and B Day, both concert DVD's and her movies. He had pictures of her along with his father and other family members. She looked at him and took a seat at his desk chair.

"Messiah, I wanna talk to you." Beyoncé said.

"I'm busy." He said as he continued to play the game.

"Messiah, I'm serious."

"Me too."

Beyoncé sighed and took his remote and turned his TV off. He turned and looked at her like she was stupid.

"Do I have your attention now?" She said.

He sighed and dropped his controller.

"What?"

Beyoncé took a deep breath.

"I wanted to come talk to you because I know these past years I haven't been there like I should have and for that I'm sorry. In the beginning I never wanted it to be like that. I had plans, well your father and I had plans and we were gonna live happily ever after." She said.

"So what happened?" He asked.

"When your father died my emotions died right along with him. I didn't take care of myself and I completely shut down. I knew that I couldn't raise you right. With what I went through I knew you didn't deserve that type of life." She said.

"What did you go through?" He asked.

It was time for Beyoncé to be completely honest with her child.

"Everything." She said. "Drugs, drinking, almost everything. I knew you couldn't be brought up like that and then I started singing thinking that could numb my pain but it didn't. It just mad things worse because I was famous or whatever."

She looked at him.

"I know none of this excuses what I did but I wanted to let you know that I was sorry for that. I'm still a work in progress emotion wise and I'm trying everyday. I'm five years clean and I just don't wanna be a dead beat mom anymore."

Messiah looked at his mother for a moment. He looked at her arms and saw faint scars. He looked into her eyes.

"You could've been worse." He said. "With everything you went through I'm kind of glad you left me here even though I missed you."

"You missed me? Why didn't you say anything? I thought you didn't even like me." Beyoncé said.

"I thought you didn't like me." He said.

"That was never the case. I love you you I just," Beyoncé said and paused before she spoke. "I don't really know how to be a mom."

Messiah nodded.

"I know that's not an excuse but-"

"I get it." He said and paused for a moment before he spoke again. "I'm glad you apologized to me though, that's all I really wanted. I can forgive you if we can start over?"

"You would do that?" Beyoncé asked a bit surprised.

"Yeah. I only get one mom. My daddy already gone. I don't wanna lose you too. So can we start over?"

"I would really like that." Beyoncé said.

Messiah got up and walked over to his mom and wiped the tear that she didn't even realize fell away. He went down to her arms to get a closer look. He traced some of the faint scars before he stuck his hand out.

"Hi, my name is Messiah Jerell Knowles-Jordan and I'm twelve years old and your son." He said.

Beyoncé laughed but shook his hand.

"I'm Beyoncé Giselle Knowles and I'm thirty-two years old and I'm your mom."

Messiah smiled and then Beyoncé stood up and pulled him into a hug.

"I am so sorry and I love you very much." She said. "You made me so proud tonight. You did a great job."

"Thanks." he said smiling."And I'm sorry for the things I said to you."

"I accept." She said but backed away from the hug to look at him. "Was I really flat and off on Good Morning America?"

He began to laugh.

"No, I just said that cause I was mad." He said.

"Oh cause I can't even fake that cut me deep." She said. "I was like damn."

He began to laugh.

"No ma, you're never off key."

"Thank you." She said.

Beyoncé looked towards the clock.

"Alright, you got school in the morning. So get in bed." She said.

"Can you stay in here with me?" He asked.

"Yeah, I'll stay." She said as they got in bed.

Messiah had already fallen asleep but Beyoncé was still awake. She would look down and rub his head from time to time. She didn't understand why it took her this long to wake up but she was glad she did. This is her second chance and she will not mess it up.

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