transgender ➳ phan

10.0

"Dan, open the door." I hear from the other side of the door. It's Chris' voice. He knocks again.

Slowly I get up from my bed and go to my door. I open it and Chris is there, a look of sadness on his face, pity almost, as he sees my tear stained face and puffy red eyes.

"Can I come in?" He asks. I nod and open the door wider for him to enter. When he does come inside, I close the door behind him so that no one else can come in.

When I turn around to face Chris his arms are open, inviting me for a hug. I take it and cry into his shoulder while he wraps his arms around me, hugging me tightly.

"Shhh. It's okay." Chris says in a quiet voice, trying to calm me down. He helps a little but not much. I try to stop crying so I can talk to Chris.

Breaking the hug, I go sit on the bed. Quickly followed by Chris, who is sat a little bit away from me, giving me some space. "What did you hear?" I ask, looking down at my hands in my lap.

He shrugs, "Mostly everything. It was kind of hard not to. I was in the other room while you guys were yelling." Chris answers.

A tear drop comes down from my eye and I move my hand to wipe it off. "Great." I say sarcastically, a couple more tears coming out. Why can't I just stop crying?

Chris puts his hand on mine, "Hey, don't cry." He pauses for a moment. "Listen Dan, I know that it must be hard for you right now, and I know that you probably weren't ready for this. But I just want you to know that whether or not you identify as a boy or a girl, you are still loved. By me, by Phil, and by anyone else who you are close with. Your mum is just taking a while to process this. But I promise that one day she will come around."

I look at Chris, "Why can't she come around now? Why can't she support me at the time I need it most?" Chris stays silent. Not having an answer at the moment. "What am I supposed to do?" I ask, my voice now quieter.

Chris sighs, "I think you should do whatever you are comfortable with. If you want to wear the dress, than do it. If you feel more comfortable in the clothes you are wearing now, wear those. But it's your life. Don't do anything that you aren't 100% happy with."

He gets up from my bed. "I'll be downstairs. When you figure out what you want to do, you know where to find me." He says, putting a smile on his face.

He walks out of the room and I am left sitting there. Alone. Thinking.

×

I watch as the hair falls down in front of my face and onto the ground.

When I am done I look in the mirror. My hair looks okay. I still have my fringe. I will get a hair cut later to make it exactly the way I want it.

A/N I just want to make sure that you all know that Dans hair is the fringe hair he has like in real life. Okay just wanted to clear that up. Continue reading.

I grab my black beanie and put it on my head. Happy with my hair for once.

I shift around a bit, a little uncomfortable. Until I can get a binder, I have to use the ace bandages again. Which isn't the greatest thing. But it's fine.

"Danielle! Come downstairs! It's time to eat!" Mum yells at me from downstairs. I take a deep breath and walk out of my bathroom door. It's time.

I walk down the staircase, my heart beat racing at this point.

When I get downstairs I see a lot of people showed up now. All dressed up. No one notices me yet. I find Chris, he was talking to Phil. And next to Phil was PJ.

Phil is the first to notice me. I can see him point over to me and Chris turns around. When Chris sees me he smiles.

They all start to walk over to me. "Hey Phil. Glad you could make it." I say. "Hey Dan. Me too. New hair?" He asks. "Yeah." I say looking down at my feet. Phil smiles, "Well I like it." "Thanks."

"So how long does this thing last?" PJ asks, obviously really bored and uninterested. "Um, about a couple more hours. But uh you could leave whenever you want." I answer.

PJ looks at Phil in a way as to say 'we are leaving as soon as possible'. Phil rolls his eyes. "So uh when do we get to eat?" Chris asks.

"The food is done according to my mum. And you can eat wherever you want. I have to eat at the table because I'm the hostesses kid, but you guys will probably have more fun in the other room where all the video games are." I suggest. "How about you guys can get your food now and Chris can go show you where the room is. Isn't that right Chris?"

Chris nods, "Yeah okay. So let's go then." He says. "See you later Dan." Phil says. Chris then leads the boys somewhere else.

I look over to the dining area and people are already at the table chatting and eating. There's one spot left that's next to my mum so it's the one I have to take.

I take a seat at the table. "Glad you could join us darling-" Mum stops talking to once she notices what I looked like.

"What happened to you Danielle." She asks, trying to keep calm. "I didn't want to wear the dress- could you pass the mashed potatoes?" I say. One of mums friends hands me the bowl of potatoes and I put them on my plate.

"I told you to put it on." Mum says, slightly raising her voice, which causes people to stop talking and look at us. "Well I told you that I didn't want to wear it so.." I trail off.

Another one of mums old friends, Staci, whom I've met many times (and is basically like an aunt) says. "Well Jessica, I think Danielle looks quite nice. Doesn't she Rick?" She asks her husband. He nods.

"Sorry Staci but my name is Dan, and I would appreciate it if you wouldn't call me 'she'. I'm more of a 'he'. Thanks." I say, soon after I take a sip of my drink.

My mum is sitting there, her face clearly full of shock and anger. "Um, I'm deeply sorry about that Staci. My daughter has some sort of uh a mental illness so she acts up sometim-" "Being transgender is not a mental illness." I cut her off.

"That's enough Danielle!" Mum yells. The room is silent and everyone is looking at us. After a few seconds of the silence my mum says a bit more quietly "Go to your room." "But-" I start to say. "Go to your room." She says raising her voice slightly.

I shrug and make my way to the room where I told Chris to take PJ and Phil to play video games. A little proud of myself for not crying since lately I've been a mess.

When I enter the room I find Chris and Phil playing an intense game of Mario Kart, both too lost in the game to notice I entered the room. Where's PJ?

Soon after I enter the room someone comes in behind me. It's PJ. "Sorry guys I had to use the toilet." PJ then notices that I'm in the room. He gives me a smirk, "Oh hey Dani. Your dinner was quick."

"I wasn't really hungry." I say. PJ gives a quick quiet laugh, "I'm sure you weren't." We both stare at eachother for a couple of seconds.

You have got to be kidding me.

×

AYE IT ME. Anyways thank you so so much for reading. I hope you enjoyed reading this chapter as much as I enjoyed writing it. And sorry I didn't post it yesterday, I was busy.

But I'm not gonna update for the next couple days. I know this might seem really weird but I kind of consider this the 'season finale ' of sorts. So I just want to plan out what I want exactly to happen next 'season'. So anyways, I love you guys so much and I'll see you in a couple of days.

Bye x