transgender ➳ phan

19.5

I am silent. PJ fucking told him? Who just outs someone like that? I barely even knew him at that time!

As I stare into Phil's blue eyes I think of what to say. Do I tell him everything? I can trust him, right? We've been through enough together. I think I should just say it.

"No. No, I-I don't have any idea why PJ would have said something like that." I say. Phil smiles, "Okay, I believe you." He says. "I shouldn't of even asked in the first place, I'm sorry. It's ridiculous. You couldn't possibly be a boy." Phil shakes his head, as if he was clearing the thought, and diverts his attention elsewhere.

I fake a laugh, "Yeah, just ridiculous." I could hear my voice crack while saying that sentence. No Dan. You will not cry right now. Why do I have to be so weak?! I need to get out of here.

My phone buzzed. I take it out of my back pocket and look at it. It was a twitter notification, Gerard just tweeted something.

"Um, hey Phil." I say, starting to get up. "I just got a text from Chris and he really needs me right now. I'm sorry, I have to go. I'll see you later, yeah?"

Phil looks up at me, still sitting on the couch. "Yeah, okay. I'll see you later Dan. Bye." Before I walk away he gets up and kisses my cheek. I give a small smile, "Bye Phil." I say, walking out.

I'm gonna kill PJ.

×

I pull up into the drive way. When I get out of the car I borrowed from Chris, I slam the door shut, filling with rage.

Considering it is almost twelve at night, all of the lights were off except one, and that was PJ's room. Luckily his bedroom isn't on the second story of the house so I don't have to climb or anything.

I walk over to Peej's window and open it. I climb into his bedroom and look around. I see PJ laying on his bed with his eyes closed, tapping his fingers as he listens to music. I walk over to him and pull out his earphones.

He jumps up, not expecting that. "What the- oh. It's you." PJ says. "What are you doing here, Dani. I didnt think we had plans for tonight."

"Why did you tell Phil" I say, hoping his parents won't hear me and wake up. PJ lays there, looking uninterested. "Tell him what, exactly?"

I roll my eyes, "You know exactly what." PJ sighs, knowing exactly what I'm talking about. "You're over reacting, It's not that big of a deal. I think you just need to calm down. I can give you some more-"

"PJ, I don't want to smoke anymore! Don't you think we've smoked enough pot within these last two weeks? What I want is for you to tell me why you told Phil." I say.

PJ stands up, him and I centimeters apart now. "Listen, I thought he would have forgotten all about it by now. And he still doesn't know about you, does he?"

My silence is a good enough answer for him. "Exactly. So you have nothing to worry about. Can you just get out of my house!" PJ yells.

"You barely even knew me! How could you just out me like that?! I have done nothing to you and all you have ever do to me is be an asshole!"

"You're one to talk Howell." He says. I scoff, crossing my arms. "What are you even talking about." I ask.

"Do you want to know why I don't like you? Maybe even despise you? It's because you take everything from me!" PJ yells. I stand there confused. What is he talking about?

"I've known Chris practically since birth, we would be together everyday, and we were honestly the best of friends. And then in the beginning of year 6 you come along and take him from me! Chris left me for you! And guess what just made this entire situation better? I had a massive crush on Chris, and it's obvious that he's in love with you!"