Saving Me [n.h ♥ story]

It's Coming Back

    I heard glass breaking on the floor. A low voice yelling, "Stop it! The kids are right there!" That was my mother, pointing at us. I looked around to see where I was, it my old house I used to live in, lookind down I noticed I was a little girl. The scene was blurry, I could barely make out who was in front of my mother yelling at her, but then my eyes finally focused and my hearing went back to normal. It was my father, clenching his fists, knowing what his next move was I ran towards him,"NO! I yelled as he threw his glass of beer on the floor. The shreds of glass cut my feet. "LEAVE HER ALONE!" My little five year old screamed hitting his leg with all my might.

    He just laughed and pushed me away.

    I then saw him grab my mother by her neck with his left hand and bring her up against the wall. I just watched, sobbing, not knowing what else to do. He clenched his right hand into a fist looking at my mother furiously. "Please d-don't do this....not in f-front of her...." my mother whispered choking on her words, the tears streaming down her face looking right into my eyes. Within that second his right hand swung towards my mothers face.

    "NO!" I shouted quickly sitting up from my bed. Panting trying to catch my breath, I touched my face. I was crying. Sweat ran down my face, arms and legs. Looking around I saw Iri still knocked out. She was a heavy sleeper, so she never knew I had these kind of nightmares. Taking short breaths I looked at my hands that were uncontrollably shaking I noticed that my scars had healed.

    Feeling hopeless I continued to cry hugging my legs towards my chest. Why did my mother and I have to go through that? Why? If he gets out of jail that's it.. my life is over. He is going to come find us and kill us. No no no no no Nani don't think like that. I said to myself.

    Knowing what he did made me sick. I never had a loving father growing up. Mine was an alcoholic who didn't give a shit about his family. My heart shattered when I repeated the words in my mind. What did I ever do to make him hate me so much? Not one time did he ask me if I was hungry, how was school, or how was my day.

    Not taking it anymore I walked towards the dresser to my left.

    Looking back I made sure Iri was still asleep. Then I opened the first drawer and took out a little plastic bag with tissue in it.

    Inside the tissue was a razor.

    I tip-toed towards the door trying to make the least noise as possible. Once I reached the bathroom I locked the door. I looked up and saw a reflection of myself. The girl standing in front was looking back at me. That girl was broken, she has a dark secret that no one knows except for her and her mother. Though that's not the only secret, there was one that only herself knew. Memories began to flood my brain from the past, looking down at my wrists....

    I grabbed the razor.

    Pain shot through me as the blood ran down my arm. The pain lasted for only a couple of seconds, and then relief washed over me. I continued to cut through my skin watching as the blood ran down my arm into the sink. Tears ran down my face but I didn't care.

    Finally once I felt that it was enough I rinsed down the sink to get rid of the blood. I also rinsed my arm, I couldn't feel the water, my arm was numb. Cleaning everything up I walked back to the room.

    When I opened the door, there sat Iri on her bed looking at me.

    "Where were you?" she asked giving me a confused look.
    "Umm.... I just had to use the restroom. "
    "Oh okay.... well I'm going back to sleep." she replied yawning, scratching the back of her head and dropping her head on the pillow.
I muttered a "phew", thankful that she believed me.

    I put back the razor in my drawer and got back into my bed pulling the covers over me. The time read 5:00am. Still trying to get rid of the nightmare I just had, I looked out the window. Only thing is, it wasn't just a nightmare, that actually happened.

    My eyes felt droopy, and I dazed off knowing the last thing I saw was the dark blue sky outside the window....