Fly Like A Hawk

Chapter 148 - Peace? More Like War

I was sitting on the fold out bed that they'd put up for me in Rosa's room. I had my studies fanned out around me and I picked through each book carefully to find the answers to the work sheet I was filling in.

Demetri's harsh words had really hit me hard and I'd realised that as much as I tried to push the thought away, I actually relished the idea of going to college.

So I'd pulled out the books and started studying in hopes of passing the SAT's with high enough grades to be considered for a scholarship.

Rosa helped Carmen prepare dinner in the other room so it was a quiet peaceful atmosphere, especially with Robby and Miguel out training for the champion selection matches tomorrow.

It had been announced that Robby and Miguel and Sam and Tory would fight for champion because they'd won their way into the final with the most flags.

I'd chosen to focus on my studies instead of worrying about the Sekai Taikai for the time being.

I got up and stretched, sitting for a few hours had made my body stiff and I craved the fresh night air so I headed to the door to take some time outside.

As I pulled the door open I heard raised voices and ducked back a little so that I remained hidden.

"And I don't?" Robby scoffed.

"That's not what I'm saying. It's just, uh, I'm thinking about Stanford." Miguel had a thinly veiled excuse, "they look at my application again, and this could be really life-changing for me."

"So because I'm not going to college, my life isn't worth changing?" Robby questioned abruptly.

I peeked round the door to see Robby taking a step closer to Miguel. I felt my chest start to tighten, my ears started to ring and the room was suddenly overbearingly stuffy.

"Y/N? Everything ok?" Carmen asked, coming up behind me and I nodded swiftly then slipped out of the door.

"I'm just getting fresh air." I called. Robby and Miguel watched me scurry off. I made it just around the edge of the dojo before the panic attack hit me properly.

I slid down the wall to the ground. Why was this all happening again now? My legs spread out in front of me as my brain involuntarily flashed back to my fight with Eli and Demetri. I started to hyperventilate as more and more images popped into my head, Demetri's arm breaking, Miguel in the hospital, Sam vs Tory.

Everything span as I stumbled to my feet. I knew I couldn't stay here by the wall, I had to go somewhere. A familiar, gentle place where I knew I'd be welcome no matter what.

***

I speed walked up his drive, it hadn't taken long to get here and I knocked rapidly on the door until it was unlocked and swung open.

Eli stared at me, phone to his ear then slowly lowered his phone, "Sorry Moon, I'm gonna have to call you back." He ended the call without waiting for her to say goodbye.

"I can't-" I tried to breathe but I couldn't force the air into my lungs, "I can't breathe."

He didn't say anything just opened his arms and let me fall into them.

I knew it wasn't healthy, being so co-dependent on him but I didn't have a choice. The panic attacks were back and right now he was the only reason they went away.

It didn't full register how bad this whole situation was until later, when I realised that despite telling myself the feelings were gone, they were definitely still there.