REX [WattyAwards2015]

chapter v :: fun size

As if they were lost themselves, Nigel and Jack kept unintentionally colliding into each other, talking over one another, and grabbing at each other's arms and jackets.  They thought they were having a conversation-one asking questions, the other answering - but instead they answered only questions they themselves asked and then questioned the other when they thought the other was addressing them.  It was getting quite confusing and it wasn't long before Nigel shoved Jack off his foot for the fourteenth-hundredth time!

"For God's sake, man, stop tripping over me!"  Nigel glared at Jack and popped his collar.  "You delirious bugger."

"How could we lose an animal as a big as a horse?"

"I don't know.  It was your responsibility!"

Jack struck out with his fist, causing Nigel to tip over to one side.  If it wasn't for a nearby telephone pole, Nigel would have met the pavement without any warning.  "Don't start on me, you rescued the mongrel."

"Fine.  But I didn't know it would turn into a bleeding Great Dane!"  Nigel shook his head and scratched fervently at the back of his neck where his hair tapered out into thin, short strands.  "Let's be sensible about this.  Where would a dog its size go?"

"Neil, we seem to be looking over something."  Jack halted and snatched Nigel by the elbow, pulling him back beside him.  Nigel yielded, but not willingly.  "Listen, this dog literally grew in minutes.  The last time I checked dogs grow by the weeks.  This isn't normal."

"Of course it's not!"  Nigel snapped in a hiss.  "What am I supposed to do about that?  Maybe we should leave it alone and it won't bother us.  Let it be someone else's problem."

The two of them stared at each other, mulling over such an idea.  Jack nodded his head, synchronizing with his friend's.  "Yeah, that sounds good.  Better end it now than later."

Nigel patted Jack on the shoulder and took one more look out at the streets, hoping he wouldn't notice a roaming black mass.  "It's sorted.  We'll just say you got bitten by a stray.  Have you gotten your shots?"

"Yeah, I did.  Thank God." Jack rubbed his marked hand, sending an uncomfortable tingle through his arm.  He didn't like the feeling, not one bit.  He wanted to tell Nigel about it, but something inside him - something living - forbid him not to. 

"Maybe it's just one of those twisted things, you know?" Nigel began in the high voice he used when he was nervous.  He clasped his hands together, revealing another nervous habit.  "Perhaps, we'll wake up and-,"

"Is this your dog?" a stranger said behind them.

Jack and Nigel both jumped and slammed into one another.  Their foreheads met first, followed by their chests.  Jack was the first to let out a cry and staggered backwards as if he had been stabbed.  Nigel bit his tongue and tried to fight the surprisingly increasing pain between his ears. 

The stranger looked around awkwardly and took several steps backwards before speaking in a lower tone, "I'm sorry.  I just saw this dog running from your direction and you two looked like you were looking for something...is everything all right?"

"Yes, yes, miss, we're fine.  Thank you."  Nigel chanted over her as he looked over at the dog beside her.  To his horror, the dog beside her was just as tiny and cute as he had first seen it.  Terrified and fascinated at the same time, Nigel clambered out towards Jack, groping the air.  "J-Jack!"

"Is something wrong?"  the lady repeated, her voice trembling.  She looked down at the dog, trying to search for whatever fault the boys saw in it.  Her pink visor slipped down her face, making her quickly shove it back over her puffy, overly hairsprayed yellow-orange hair.  Her pleasant expression quickly changed into that of a snobby Buena Vista woman in her thirties-the kind Nigel and Jack despised.  Her white polo shirt collar flapped in the breeze and her hands, so moistened by some expensive moisturizer, perched on her hips.  "Is something wrong?"  Now she sounded annoying.

Nigel held up a polite finger to her and gave her a twitchy smile.  Cupping Jack by the back of the neck and guiding him a few steps away, he whispered, "Why is it tiny again?"

Jack shrugged, bottom lip poking out for emphasis.  "How should I know?"

"Well, it was bloody huge a moment ago!"

"Boys, excuse me," the woman chimed.  "Is this your dog or not."

"It is," the two chorused with stretched smiles.  "Thank you so much again."

The woman gave them a suspicious nod and continued on her way. 

Jack and Nigel waited a few beats before rushing forward over to the puppy.  Jack dropped to the ground and stared at the dog's innocent face.  "What in the world?  What the hell just happened, Neil?"

Nigel stroked his chin and shifted his jaw from side to side.  His foot tapped in thought and his hand reached behind his neck again to give it another scratch.  "I don't know.  Maybe we should take it to the vet.  Take it somewhere public.  Maybe-,"

"We should just put it in a sack and throw it in the river.  That's what they used to do with strays."

"And if we get caught?"  Nigel retorted, surprised that the animal-lover was speaking such words.

"We do it at night, Sherlock.  Or, actually, maybe we shouldn't.  Maybe taking it to the vet would be the smart thing to do."

Nigel's eyebrow rose.  "All right.  You take him.  We'll take your car."  Without a further word, Nigel started off back to Jack's house in a pace that wasn't meant to be interrupted.

"Hey!  Don't leave me here to carry it!"  Jack slapped his hands on his thigh and made a I'm-actually-fine-without-you tossing motion at Nigel.  "That's right, leave me to deal with the monster."  Propping his hands on his waist, he glared at the dog, who was now at its proper size.  Jack wasn't sure what to think.  It was happening all too soon for him to process that something 'magical' was going on.  And it wasn't the Disney form of magic, but more like dark magic that only fools would meddle with.

"Oi! Jack!"

Pursing his lips, Jack swooped the puppy in his arms, praying the razor teeth wouldn't sink into him again.  But instead, the puppy's face turned up and a small, warm kiss swept up his jawline.  Jack couldn't help but smile.  "Aww, wasn't that nice of ya?"

Nigel came into view, perplexed at the goofy grin smeared across his friend's face.  "What's this all about?"

Like a kid who just learned how to ride a bike, Jack pointed at the dog and replied in a dopey voice, "It kissed me!"

"Well, at least it gives ya more than your girlfriend gives you."

"Hey!  You know how I feel about her.  We're just not..."

"That's what you said last month when she was cheatin' on you and not returning your phone calls.  You're too good for the skank.  No offense, she is hot."  Nigel lifted his foot and, while balancing on the other, he tied his laces.   "You should go for that Brittany girl at the vet's, though."

"Brittany-girl?  It's just Brittany," Jack corrected, a little bit surprised at how quickly he had responded to what seemed to be a meaningless comment from Nigel.  He averted his eyes to the ground.

The corner of Nigel's lip lifted in a smirk.  "So you've noticed her?  You fancy her, don't ya?"  He clapped his hand on Jack's shoulder, nudging him just enough to get a reaction from Jack.

Jack elbowed Nigel hard in the shoulder and shot him a try-it-again stare.  Shaking his head, Jack's eyes rolled and he pretended to find sudden interest in the animal that had almost killed both of them. 

"Whatever, mate.  Let's just figure out what to do with this lil' bugger."