𝐈𝐧 𝐲𝐨𝐮𝐫 𝐦𝐞𝐦𝐨𝐫𝐲 | Levi Ackerman X Reader

| #49: Don't let her blame herself |

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You couldn't do anything else but stare straight ahead. Everything after you cried your eyes out in Levi's arms in the stairwell was a blur to you, and now, somehow you found yourself back in your apartment, sitting in one of the chairs in the dining table just in front of your kitchen, staring dead ahead with your head feeling like a nauseous fog.

You don't think you've ever been as scared for your life as you were today. You could've died, fallen to your death, splattered on the street like a bug, with nobody being able to trace how it happened. You're certain that psycho would've left no trace of him behind and it would've been a mystery.

You shook your head lightly once that thought entered your brain. You keep thinking about what it would've been if you did die, but you didn't. You were alive. Breathing. Conscious. On your own two feet. And it's all because of Levi.

You really don't know how you'll ever repay him. Or what to say to him, for that matter. Not to mention you're all cried out. You're exhausted. You don't have an ounce of energy left in you.

If it hadn't been for him...you have to stop thinking about that. Your arms were enclosed around your body as involuntary chills ran up and down you spine. Now, your own apartment felt foreign and unfamiliar. The silence feels louder than ever.

You know you have people in your life for support for everything going on right now, but...tonight? You were really alone. You felt deserted. Hopeless. The word home doesn't even feel like it applies to this place anymore.

You felt threatened, and not just here. You know you'll feel like that everywhere you go now. It's terrifying. Your old sense of safety is gone, and you just want it back. You hated this. All of it.

Just because you managed to survive this, doesn't mean everything will be fine now. It's quite the opposite actually. What you thought was your place for safety was nothing but an illusion and you couldn't pretend.

You used to think that this is the safest place you could possibly be in, and you couldn't have been more wrong. That psycho found you again in the one place you thought nobody but the people you trusted the most knew about.

It made your heart hurt painfully, because is this the only place that killer knows about? Does he know where you work? Does he know where you run your errands? Does he have information on the people in your life? Hange? Erwin? Levi? Your employees?
Were all of them at risk? How much does he know?

Your head feels like it'll burst any second now. Why have you been so naive? Thinking that it wouldn't escalate the way it did tonight. You were just so shellshocked that you can't register if what happened to you tonight was real.

Being that close to death did some sort of hard reset inside of you and you were struggling to pick yourself back up. To pick up the pieces. As hard as you knew that would be to do.

Could you go to sleep tonight knowing that it could happen again? That the psycho would try his luck again once you were all alone? He knows where you live now and that thought alone made your blood run cold.

He was getting closer and closer without you knowing and you felt like an idiot for not doing anything about it. But could you have known until now? He was right under your nose but if he got this far and you didn't even notice, then could you have controlled any of this? Are there signs you missed? Have you been focusing on the wrong issues?

Was this meant to happen? To open your eyes and see reality? You had been so adamant on wanting to speed things up, doing things outside of going to Nile and Pixis, instead of just waiting for updates from them, that you realized that you haven't been doing enough and you've been careless. You took your eye off the ball, but you can't let it happen again. You're a sitting duck.