Chapter Twenty One

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                     "Nonsense" I shout under my breath. The weather is so cold and I can hear the wind whistling outside. My cheeks are freezing and I can't feel my nose but I can feel the hot tears warming up my cheeks and enriching my mouth and lips with their salty taste.  What does he mean? What is he talking about? It feels like I got the wrong letter, but from the right person. I mean, is he talking about the psychologist thing?  What money is he talking about? I  didn't want you to think that I was telling you about it to feel sympathy or get money from your parents. I didn't want to be pitiful, I needed to feel strong enough  and I just wanted to prove to you and to myself that I'm capable of it, that I can work hard and study on my own. The words appeared again before my eyes and I still can't figure out what  he's talking about. Study on my own? study ? Is he still studying? Perhaps it's something related to his job. He won't let it end ? What we had is real ? He did have feelings,too? Perhaps I sounded mature so, he had feelings, too!  I thought that for once I understand everything but here I'm going to point Zero again and worse cause I don't trust my sanity anymore. Maybe that's why nothing makes sense.

           I pick up the paper gently and read it all over again hoping that each time I'd understand something I didn't understand in the previous time. I focus on his handwriting and observe the parts where his hands trembled or a tear dropped from his eye and fell on the paper. I notice how his handwriting was different in certain parts indicating whether he felt angry, weak or nervous. I concentrate on the parts where he spelt my name in attempt to bring the letters to life, to feel them and let them haunt  me.  What about the CD and the short story? Just as I picked the story up, my phone beeped.

      "Oh my god" I whispered to my screen. It is a text *Brad:Meet me at the same place*. Mom won't let me out and my body can't support me and help me sneak out of the window. The problem is the door. It's locked and dad keeps the keys on his bed-side table. Damn! why do they keep most of their stuff on the bed-side table? I'll do whatever it takes to meet Brad, he's the last hope I have. He has the clues that I can't get. He knows everything and ready to explain. I wonder if he knows about Zack. I frown as I think about it moving around in my bedroom. I mean nobody has ever heard about him from me except Jessie. Nina and Hayley saw him dropping me off once. So, perhaps he has heard about him.

            I get out of my bedroom and take a look at the clock. It's 12:00 am. The house is dark and quiet that I had to be careful  with my footsteps. Inevitably, mom and dad are asleep. I purse my lips like my voice would escape unintentionally. I tiptoe till I reach the bed-side table. Dad is snoring but not loudly,  it's more like noisy heavy-breathing . I can't see the keys in the darkness so I let my hands crawl on the table sensing the objects till it hit a cup of water, I reach for it instantly with my other trembling hand to balance it before it falls down and as  it stands properly on the table again, I look at mom and dad. None of them has moved. I give a silent sigh of relief and close my eyes for a moment. Dad is still snoring. God !! It's the first time I've ever sneaked into my parents' bedroom at night. "Ok " I whisper to myself. I drag the keys slowly in order not to hear them and get out. The lamp lights, "Ash" mom called weakly. "Anything wrong?" she asked with a sleepy voice. I dropped the keys in my pockets quickly and forced a trembling smile at her "No...no" I said trying to sound normal. "Ok! Just go to bed, honey" she said returning back to her pillow with her eyes closed.  She adjusted her sleeping position making the bed creak then fell asleep again.

     "Great " I shout under my breath as I tiptoe down the  stairs. I insert the key in the lock and turn it slowly. I bite my lips as the door creaks quietly and get out immediately. Damn!  It's 12:15 am. *on my way* I texted Brad. The street is cold, dark and silent except for the creepy sound of the insects or a far away barking dog. The moon looks beautiful that I barely hit a lamppost with my side as I was watching it. I suddenly remember what I'm out for and my heart starts hammering again. I bite my nails the whole way as I  pass some sleeping strangers on the pavements or  see a bunch  of teen boys, who are obviously up to no good, and finally reach the place.   

       It is colder than the street and of course much much darker. I reach for my flashlight and turn it on. I walk along till I see a beam of light coming out from the same place where Edward was kidnapped! I see his partially lightened face approaching.

"Hey " Brad said quietly.

"Hey ?!!" I ask him ironically. "Would it have been a bad idea if we met at day time in a normal place or something, Brad"

"Look, I'm sorry but this is important"

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