Trouble // Brooklyn Beckham Fanfic

Chapter 61

*WARNING: triggers of eating disorders found in this chapter that may be uncomfortable for you to read, but I felt like I needed to be said, the actual hell Anorexia and such is..

This is my personal experience, where My bones were practically sticking out of my back, and my hip bones were painfully sharp^^^

I've recently stumbled onto a 'pro anorexia tips and tricks' website, because someone screenshotted it and messaged me telling me that I should post a chapter on what it's really like, having first hand experience with it.

When you hear the word; anorexia, you think of beautiful, thin models, walking down the runway in their tiny clothing.

Nope. It's completely the opposite actually, I remembered where I was at the point when I could count my ribs, and I was absolutely terrified, but couldn't stop, and the worst part was that no one knew and thought that I was still the happy, bubbly, over-sarcastic girl eating normally, when I had been eating near below 200 calories daily, and burning off about 2000 during my daily functions and sports I've played.

You get the point, but I just wanted to say I completely understand how it is to have it control you, and not be able to break away and get the help you need. But if you CHOOSE to be anorexic, you're choosing to constantly be lightheaded and pass out, lose your period and potentially never have kids, lose most of your hair, your skin paler every day, and dark circles around your eyes(yes worse ones than you think you have looking like you haven't slept since 2003), being cold all of the time(literally blankets and heaters don't help you're actually dying inside), food being on your mind and never leaving, not being able to concentrate on anything but, sooooo many worse things, and you're choosing to kill yourself. You've heard it all before but I'm dead serious when I say once you start you can't stop. You think you have control over it,

but it holds control over you.

Aaaaaannndddd now that I've scared the shit out of you, enjoy the extra long chapter!

Play song when you see #*#*#

~•~•~•~•~•~•~
*Payton's POV*
"Kaden, get off of meeeeee," I whined as he was sitting directly on my back. "I said I was sorry!" I giggled, but found that it pained me to do so, seeing as he was literally sitting on my lungs.

"What's the magic word pappy?" He sang, not budging one bit,

"Kaden we've been over this before, i'm not saying Kaden is sexy," I muttered.

"Just did princess," he winks and gets off of me, hoisting me up over his shoulder and walking to the kitchen.

We had already watched the first Harry Potter movie, and I convinced him to let me do his makeup, which I basically just played around with some eye shadows. He washed it off after completely freaking out, and I just read one of the magazines he got me, and laughed at his struggle to get the makeup off.

Kaden finally set me down on the kitchen counter after the short walk down our high ceilinged hallway.

"You up for making pizzas?" He grinned. Pizza has and always will be Kaden's favorite food. I have personally witnessed him eat two whole pizzas in one sitting. Given he did throw up afterwards, it was still impressive and I saw him eating a cheese pizza the next day for lunch.

"Ehhhhh," I teased, obviously tempting him.

"We're making them," he decided, grabbing all of the ingredients that we had previously put away in the fridge and cupboards for later. I hopped off the counter, helping him get out utensils and preheating the oven.