Bloody Mary

Chapter Seventeen~Lighting The Way

Chapter Seventeen~Lighting The Way

"Perce?"

Marianna sat quietly on a log facing the sea. Her elbows rested upon her knees, and her head within the palms of her hands. Her eyes, glassy and unblinking, strayed to the gulls that called above.

"Percy?" The familiar voice called, seeming miles away from where she sat.

"Hm?" She turned her head to the side, finally blinking. Her eyes met those of Edward.

"Are you alright, lad? You've been out here all night."

"I'm fine, thank you.

They both saw through the lie when they heard it, and with a heavy sigh Edward sat himself beside her.

"You haven't gotten a blink o' sleep. The others are startin' to worry for yah- if they aren't already."

"I killed a man, Edward. I just... Give me some time."

Edward didn't say a word, and instead squeezed his crew mate's shoulder in reassurance, and then rose to his feet and departed. His footsteps in the sand resonated in Marianna's ears, bouncing back and forth with the thoughts that kept her planted to the log she sat upon. It seemed to block out all other noise until they grew silent, and then the caw of the gulls took over once more.

Why did I kill him? The same thought bounced through her mind repeatedly, making no attempt to leave so she could get over the nonsense she was making it out to be. Am I so savage that I don't even realize it? Is this what it feels like to be insane? Marianna's hands wrapped around her head once more, and her fingers began to lightly circle her temples. It was true that she had stayed awake every hour of the night since the raid from the evening before. All she could hear in her mind were the words she spoke after she had so monstrously ended the life of that man, and then the actual action itself. She never would've thought she had that savagery in her. She never imagined she would have to kill a man with such brutality.

Perhaps the thing that made her cringe the most was that- at one point- she actually laughed. What type of human being that stands by a steady set of morals kills someone so brutally? She had been no better than an animal in that moment.

But, a friendly little voice murmured in her mind. What if one of your crew were to die... Would you be so guilt-ridden then?

No, she decided quietly. I would feel worse. So why can't I get over this?

Marianna groaned aloud, rubbing the sleep from her eyes as she fended off the fatigue that threatened to consume her. The inner turmoil just would not shut up, and she was almost sure it never would.

But the crew, like Edward said, was worried and waiting. She had been allowed her night to mourn for her sanity, humanity, and mind. Now she had to get herself to her crew and give them their next objective, otherwise they may not find it in themselves to do so. That was why she had killed that man, to help the crew prevail.

Marianna finally eased herself off of the log, stretching and grimacing at the numbness in her legs and behind. She turned on her heel, then made her way back to the makeshift camp. The eyes of the crew were on their comrade in the moment that she moved, relief sweeping through them at the sight of her up and about. She purposely nodded in the direction of the lads before stopping in front of the towering fire at the center of their camp.

"We have to attack or else be attacked. They'll want revenge when the rest of them figure out what we've done." She announced. She took pride in the stability in her tone, but nothing else.